Two beer tired

The tiredness experienced after having only two beers and needing a third to turn up.

I'm two beer tired let's turn it up and go hard tonight.

by Matt&Lucy April 2, 2015

two-jeweled cane

slang for male genitalia; penis and testicles/balls

It's easy to love briefs, boxer briefs, or any tight-fitting undergarment when you don't have to lug around a two-jeweled cane.

by Dr. Mythomania April 28, 2011

Two Bob Cunt

Used in the Libertines song "What A Waster", this phrase means "Cheap Whore"

Mind your bleedin' own, you two bob cunt.

by Naomi September 2, 2004

The two biggest lies

1. The check is in the mail.

2. I promise I won't cum in your mouth.

The two most undisputed, biggest lies ever spoken of all time. And always spoken with a tone of conviction to convince the other party to relax and believe what they are being told is utterly and completely trustworthy.

1. Landlord: "It's the 5th of the month, and I haven't received your rent check!"

Irresponsible tenant: "Hey man, no worries, the check is in the mail!"

Landlord: "Yeah right, that's one of the two biggest lies in the world!"

2. Girl about to give head: "I really hate the taste of cum, I swear it will make me gag. So, please promise that you'll let me know before you finish, OK??"

Horny dude: "Don't worry baby, I promise that I won't cum in your mouth..."

by Butt Boy 1975 May 8, 2011

meat and two veg

(UK slang)
mens gentials

youwch, me meat and two veg!

by casey kocknobber June 11, 2003

Dusty Two Sacks

The nickname for Red Sox 2B Dustin Pedroia. Named for his gritty nature, toughness and altogether blue collar style of play. A more fitting nickname than "laser show"

Dusty Two Sacks at the plate, he is 2-3 today with a double to left center and s single up the middle. He is batting .305 with 16 HR's, 27 Doubles and 23 Stolen Bases this year.

by IllGrotesque August 23, 2011

Two-Pot-Screamer

A person who has little tolerance for alcohol, in particular beer or lager. This can also develop over the years as you and your mates tolerance for "the pints" diminishes with age.

That Ruperts been bar boxing again. He's a bit of a two-pot-screamer.

by Martin austin December 30, 2004