Lesbian Birthday

The saddest shit you ever saw.

Ezekiel :" Dude "
my buddy Steve's wife talked him in to adopting a bunch of vietnamese kids , and they had to get rid of Steve's man-cave .... and his dog that he's had his whole life ....and, she made him give up his special edition star wars figures so the kids could play with them." "He said every day he wishes he would die in his sleep."
"because death would be better than this hell he has to live in"....
Then he said he prays every night "please God take me from this torment I cannot bear another day looking at my stupid wife and these damn children."

Tobias:....damn dude , his life looks like a lesbian birthday party.

by Djentile March 13, 2019

hAPPY BIRTHDAy DOUg

today MARCH 19/ EVERYDAY = day of doug birth

happy fucking birthday you crackhead cum dumpster numskull licker
ps i fucked your sisters

hAPPY BIRTHDAy DOUg

by sHIT HURRICANE March 19, 2019

Stella Birthday

To have a Stella birthday party.

Thanks folks! Had a Stella birthday and feel lucky and loved 😊

by Hazbanger June 3, 2019

The Birthday Card

One may choose to ‘play the birthday card’ within the 24 hour window known as their ‘birthday’ in order to guilt trip somebody into agreeing to their mediocre plans...

Dana: Dude I’m not just gonna come suck your dick at your dirty ass apartment then drive you 2 hours so you can hang out w/ your parents who you pretty much still live with anyways...
Russ: Gee that’s funny cause according to this calendar it’s MY BIRTHDAY.

Dana: Fuck, you’re playin the birthday card? Aight fair enough gahaaahhaahaha
Russ: Byawwwwww

by Rusty Spoons July 5, 2019

Another birthday sunset

6 months before my birthday every year I get “OK” & girls only groups! For them they are presumably “married” and for me everything is smelled & WHY?

Another birthday sunset August!

by TheBlueLeo April 21, 2019

Surprise Birthday

The act of shoving your fist into a late pregnant lady and pulling the fetus out.

I really wanted Jim to be born on 4/20, so I gave him a surprise birthday.

by DMTisGreat October 21, 2019

Solar Birthday

Once you LEARN about the definition about the Golden Birthday, the solar birthday is the year after.

Wow I just found out my golden birthday was in 2015 and as I speak it's the year 2019. This means my solar birthday is in the year 2020.

by Yoyomacavaz December 21, 2019