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Polishing a turd

To fix, repair, repaint, shine or do other things to something that isn't worthy - but you have to do it for one reason or another. Because the basic fact is no matter what you do to a turd - polish it, paint it, give it bling - it's still a turd, and there is nothing you can do about that underlying fact.

This is often encountered for people who restore antiques, or who work in older buildings or on old machines. It may not be practical to replace a piece of crap, and polishing a turd may be all you can do.

Polishing A Turd is different from nigger-rigging because nigger-rigging is just to get something operational with little regard to how it looks or runs in the long term. Polishing A Turd involves making something look and operate as best as it can, although both may be major problems because it was a piece of crap to begin with. A Rolls Royce can be nigger-rigged, but you would not call it polishing a turd (unless it is a real ghetto cruiser). Putting new tires on a Yugo and filling its gas tank is polishing a turd.
The 1942 Philco record changers were so bad, restoring them is only polishing a turd.

My friend is polishing a turd - he's rebuilding the engine in his 1976 Vega.

The elevator was constantly breaking down in the last place I worked. It was old and beat up, and repairs were no better than polishing a turd.

"You're just polishing a turd fixing that Pinto."
"More like jack up the horn and stick a car under it!"
by Old Radio Collector June 23, 2007
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poklish

The sensitivity to being poked. Similar to being ticklish, this occurs when someone pokes your sides or anywhere else on the body that may produce a squirmish response
I'm so poklish i jump whenever i get poked in the side
by JuliaMarie May 30, 2009
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Mission A-Corn-Plished Burger

A burger served with corn salsa!
"Hey Bob, what's the burger of the day?" "Mission A-Corn-Plished Burger, it comes with corn salsa!"
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Polishing the Brass Rail

The use of sexal acts/favors to attempt to obtain a promotion in the workplace. Most commonly referring to executive level promotions.
Bob would be working in the mailroom instead of the sixth floor if he wasn't polishing the brass rail.
by Bajebus September 21, 2011
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should have polished the wood

What you should have done...instead of getting her pregnant!
He: "Damn! I should have polished the wood instead of knocking you up!"

She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"
by Carl J. Maltese November 9, 2007
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poliphal

This notebook is full of poliphal words.
by Ninja Emmett August 4, 2009
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