Maroon Hairy J

Maroon Hairy J is a common nickname for italian-american males named Josh. They are often given this nickname by friends due to the abundance of hair stemming from their scalp and upper-lip area, and the frequency in which they wear maroon-colored clothes.

MHJ (shorthand) is typically a stoner friend who believes all republicans belong in hell. Their favorite TV character is shaggy from the scooby-doo series due to the similarities they share in personality and personal acumen. Often times a MHJ will become agitated at the use of "Maroon Hairy J", but will shortly afterwards use it in self-deprecating jokes that make their closest friends laugh AT them further.

Guy 1: Who just shit diarrhea all over this fucking bed!
Guy 2: I think it was that fucking creep Maroon Hairy J
Maroon Hairy J: Sorry guys I ate some extra greasy gabagool! My bad, I will clean it up in a few days!

by The Gronchler August 26, 2025

Hairy Hat-trick

When a male has a piss, whilst scratching his balls and blowing his nose at the same time.

I’m so manly, I can complete a “Hairy Hat- trick” without pissing on the floor. Hairy Hat-trick

by anonymous June 30, 2023

Come see my hairy armpits

I planted seeds under my HAIRY ARMPITS! My HAIRY ARMPITS have sweat water and grow in the sun. Avocado plants form and I automatically grow avocados through my HAIRY ARMPITS!

Come see my hairy armpits. I squeeze sweat from my armpits into my mountain dew. Then I dip triple cheese doritos in the sweaty mtn dew and eat like a pig. Oh the triple cheese doritos have bacon products in them. I am now a pig and cannibal. Oh crap. Oh *******************************************!

by Flaming Gaming June 14, 2022

Hairy Iguana

Rubbing your penis in a woman's pubic hair so that it looks like it it covered in hair

The girl had so much bush it made for a great hairy iguana

by BluEle October 5, 2009

Hairy sock

When a woman has a tight hairy vagina that hugs your dick like a sock

I was fucking this chick and she was so tight that her pussy hugged my dick like a hairy sock

by 333bam July 23, 2024

Hairy Martinez

The act of applying a commercial grade adhesive to ones upper lip and then subsequently having that individual perform fellatio after not man-scaping for several months.

"OMG Becky you need to wax your mustache, it looks like Chad gave you a Hairy Martinez last night."

by Deputy Derp June 25, 2019

hairy callous

A gal who looks like she should be a dainty palm but is way too independent for her own good. Usually a lesbian.

"That girl is so hot, man!"

"Don't even, dude, she is such a hairy callous."

by 'dork October 10, 2006