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touchyourpenis 

the sole criteria that defines a relationship for that category of guys that are only after a piece of a**. these guys also tend to hit on women much younger than them, example a college freshman and a highschool freshman. interaction tends to lead to blind groping in his car, then after she goes home he gets drunk and passes out puking in the public parking lot behind the prison. avoid these guys.
A&A: so how are things between you and that freshman?
Zach: pretty damn good.
A&A: have you taken her on a date yet?
Zach: no.
A&A: have you called her?
Zach: no.
A&A: then how does that qualify as pretty damn...oh, you let her touchyourpenis, didn't you?
Zach: hell yeah, man.
A&A: you stoner f***. you are such a man-wh*re.
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Midas Touch 

Painting your hand gold (normally with spray paint) then beating someone off. Nail polish or glitter can be substituted, but is frowned upon.
I used to know this chick that would give out the Midas Touch under the bleachers. Only bad part was having a golden mule afterwards.
Midas Touch by Gantalopian May 3, 2010

Touchdown 

When a guy comes all over the face of his girlfriend while she's inebriated, when she wouldn't usually allow it.
Girl: "omg i have no freaking idea what's going on.. this grass is so soft..."
Guy: ejaculates on face
Girl: sputters and frantically wipes of face "omg I'm drowning!"
Guy: puts it away, zips up pants, runs in circles with arms outstretched like a plane yelling "touchdown!"
Touchdown by Antigoddess73 February 27, 2009

Dude Smoochin' Pee-Pee Toucher 

Mr. Sanders: "DAMN! Bushman is a big Dude Smoochin' Pee-Pee Toucher!"

Mr. Knieriem: "It's schlong either way!"

Touchdown There 

”’Touchdown There”’ (2 November 1982 – Present), commonly known as ”’NagolGnik”’ (Nag-ol Nick), is the Irish king of The Gridiron. He is the most celebrated member of the The Gridiron and the creator of one of the largest empires in selection history.

Born in Baldwinsville in 1982, Touchdown There was tutored by the famed philosopher Johnny Benched. In 2010 he succeeded the 2009 Gridiron champion to the throne. Touchdown There inherited a strong kingdom and an experienced army. He succeeded in being awarded the generalship of The Gridiron and, with his authority firmly established, launched the plans for expansion he created. In 2010 he invaded The Gridiron and began a war lasting the whole football season. Touchdown There broke the power of Necessary Roughness in a series of decisive battles, most notably the battles of Week two and Week three. Subsequently he overthrew the Necessary Roughness and conquered the entirety of The Gridiron.

Personality
Touchdown There’s personality is well described by the ancient sources. Some of his strongest personality traits formed in response to his parents. His mother had huge ambitions for Touchdown There, and encouraged him to believe it was his destiny to conquer The Gridiron. Indeed, Touchdown There’s relationship with his father generated the competitive side of his personality; he had a need to out-do his father, as his reckless nature in battle suggests.
Touchdown There’s most evident personality traits were his violent temper and rash, impulsive nature, along with his 100% arrogance, which undoubtedly contributed to some of his decisions during his life. Balls of Steel thought that this part of his personality was the cause of his weakness for alcohol. Although Touchdown There was stubborn and did not respond well to orders from authority figures, he was easier to persuade by reasoned debate. Indeed, set beside his fiery temperament, there was a calmer side to Touchdown There; perceptive, logical, and calculating. He had a great desire for knowledge, a love for philosophy, and was an avid reader. This was no doubt in part due to his tutelage by Johnny Benched; Touchdown There was intelligent and quick to learn. The intelligent and rational side to Touchdown there is also amply demonstrated by his ability and success.

Early Victories
Touchdown There was a quick study to The Gridiron. Learning quickly that the other members of The Gridiron were fools and incompetent when it came to football selections. His superior knowledge and intellect proved to be unmatched and his victories quickly showed this. This knowledge coupled with his vast football career consisting of playing the fifth quarter of freshman football made him an instant favorite among fans of The Gridiron. With his quick wit and silver tongue he was able to create the most creative and elaborate victory speeches that left opponents shaken and emotionally broken.
Touchdown There by Nagolgnik November 12, 2010

Cheese Touch 

When you fart and then touch someone, and say Cheese Touch, the only way to protect yourself from it is to cross your fingers if you are a girl, if you are a boy, put your two fingers together.
The origins come from "cutting cheese".

Tori had a gnarly fart so she walked over to Angelo who had his fingers straight...and Nini, who was crossing her fingers, so Tori couldn't pass on her Cheese Touch. But Mauricio, didn't know about Cheese Touch, so Tori infected him with it. And he died.

Touchdown 

The act of taking a shit and jacking off with orgasm happening at the same time as the shit hits the toilet.
I just scored a touchdown in the bathroom.
Touchdown by Ramsey Nehemiah July 1, 2010