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Douche Bag

One who acts like a asshole and is well awere of it, but feels a false sence of self-justifacation in it due to there delusions of self rightiosness. Bassicly, elietist bastards who flaunt there apperent status, when the status is an example of total bullshit.

When confronted on this they will often point out some trivial flaw in you that dosent matter, changing the subgect.
Anyone who corrects spelling as a form of burn is a total douche bag.
by lagazi July 5, 2007
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douche

To truly describe a douche would be relatively impossible. But here are some of the tell-tale signs that let you know if you, or someone you know maybe be suffering from being a douche:

-Wears american eagle/lacoste shirts with collar permanently popped

-Walks with a little too much of a gangster bounce in his step(note that this rule does not apply if douche in question is black. being dark brown doesn't keep you exempt from this rule)

-Talks like they have an expanse of knowledge of the world when it is in fact the opposite

-Talks obnoxiously and douche-tastically loud so that others have no option but to overhear they're ridiculously trivial conversations

-Pretending to be black, under any circumstances, constitutes automatic doucheness

-Punch their friends on the shoulder soft enough not to hurt, but hard enough to think they actually have some dominance in their circle of friends

-Wear the christian cross on a necklace when their not religious because they want to be like one of those religious badasses in the action movies(e.g. the sniper in Saving Private Ryan. only but he was actually religious)

-Thinking their the fucking bees knees when in reality they're just a DOUCHE!!!
*brown man walks in with popped collar and overly large bounce in his step*

Observer 1: Check out the height on that collar. A true display of douchebaggery

Observer 2: And the bounce puts the icing on his douchebag cake.

Observer 3: I bet he thinks he's the fucking bees knees...
by Saucy n00b January 13, 2009
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Douche Bag

This controversial term dates back to Richard Brome's 1588 comedy 'the Court of Malcontents'

In Act I Scene II, the following takes place:

Don Benedicto: Aha! and from whence hast this bough sprung?
Don Matheus: From the douche, no doubt!
Don Benedicto: The douche. The douche. Ye Gods man!
Tell me from whence hast the douche come ye can
Don Matheus: The douche is borne from yonder douche-bag.
Don Benedicto: Your humour does not humour me, sir. Begone or taste my steel.
Don Matheus: Thou steel be brittle, sir.

This pun is lost on most modern audiences, but in the play leads to Don Matheus and Don Benedicto fighting a duel (during the Edwardian period the word 'steel' would be pronounced very similarly to the word 'still', which then was used to refer to the way in which a mother holds her child. Don Matheus is implying that Don Benedicto's mother was incompetant. Indeed, he even goes as far as to suggest that Don Benedicto was dropped on his head at an early age, insulting both Don Benedicto's honour and intelligence).

'Douche' was a form of the old english word 'Douaché' meaning 'I sow'. It came to mean the seeds which farmers used to grow orchards (often apple orchards particularly). A douche-bag was a sack slung over one shoulder used to carry the 'douche' during sowing.

After this play, douche-bag eventually came to be associated with simpletons or fools (as it is the 'final straw' as it were of Don Matheus' ridicule which causes Don Benedicto to initiate a duel, which he eventually flees from - losing all face and honour as a gentleman).

This Elizabethan insult has in recent years resurfaced, particularly in the Americas, and has rapidly spread across the rest of the world thanks to recent innovations in communication technology.
Don Byrne: Thou is naught but a lowly douche bag.
Don Sampson: I think not sir!
by Professor Aston December 25, 2008
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Douche McFagqueer

A sentient being who is a stupid homosexual. (proper noun)
That Douche McFagqueer we saw at Taco Bell is my biological father.

That group of children over there are a bunch of Douche McFagqueer's, except for that little girl on the end, I made sweet love to her in many positions, mostly derived from the middle-eastern countries.
by My name is of no concern October 14, 2005
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Douche Muffin

1. A rendering of the commonly used slang word, Douche Bag, mostly used without the intent of insulting, but more along the lines of a comical purpose. However, it can be effectively used as an insult.

2. A baked muffin containing vaginal fluids.
1. After spilling the orange juice concentrate all over his new pants, Borus' friend Hogarth comicly called him a "Douche Muffin."

2. The "Douche Muffin" is often considered offensive to women's rights activists, due to it's main ingredient.
by Adam Carey August 23, 2006
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douché

(doo-SHEY) an expression used for acknowledging a telling remark or rejoinder while simultaneously acknowledging that the person who said the remark is a douche for saying it.
Jim: I should've walked further to get to that restaurant.

Bob: Actually, you mean to say you should have walked "farther" to get to that restaruant.

Jim: Douché.
by DarkRoom February 15, 2010
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douche musket

1. a term that is applicable when douche nozzle does not accurately describe the person or people in question.
2. an awesome fucking name to call people.
dude1: you see that queaf with his popped collar??
dude2: yeah, what a douche musket.
by vulvahammer November 22, 2009
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