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Turtle press

A turtle press is when you scoop your poop out of the toilet and shove your feces in your anus as hard as you can. Ideally for missing out on any nutrients such as protein or vitamins. Much like a turtle going back into its shell. But your anus is the shell and your turds are the turtle
Dude did you hear Jimmy doing a turtle press last night?
by Pizzafart33 May 12, 2023
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Turtle press

A turtle press is when you grab a turd out of the toilet. It can be yours or a strangers, and shove it back into your anus in case you missed any nutrients such as protein or vitamins. Thus your anus being the turtle shell and the poop being the turtle
Dude did you hear Frank doing a turtle press last night?
by Pizzafart33 May 12, 2023
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Turtle Sink

The act of a student who needs to shit so bad, and all the stalls are locked, so they shit in the sink, and cram it down the drain.
Student1: Hey your back early did you make it on time.
Turtle Sinker: Nah, I had to Turtle Sink it.
by Thelasthayoullsee July 20, 2023
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Turtle Breath

The little puff of air you do just before you poo.
I didn't get a chance to go, I only just did a turtle breath before I had to run out of the toilet.
by MrFantastic August 13, 2023
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Stale Turtle

A stale turtle is when your having a shit and you accidently chop the end off and its goes back up never to be seen again rotting inside you
I had a shit last night and ended up having a stale turtle it was very disappointing.
by StaleTurtle August 17, 2023
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Turtle Edging

The act of holding a shit in purely for the pleasure
Khye: “Take a shit
Matthew: “Cant bro I’m turtle edging it feels good”
by Matthew Boob June 15, 2022
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Turtle Wedding

When two consenting adults share in the loving act of pressing their assholes together, while simultaneously shitting. Usually a competitive endeavor, with the winner being the one to be covered in the least amount of the others shit.
Travis is the ultimate turtle wedding champion. I don’t know if he can be beat.
by Turtle Wedding June 15, 2022
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