Home of neurotic lying scum living beyond their means.
Soon to be depopulated by a wave of McMansion foreclosures. The boutique clothing stores are soon to follow, once people stop buying overpriced schmattas to impress their neighbors. Next will be the repossession of the leased Range Rover and Mercedes.
Life in Calabasas means a constant attempt to pretend to your neighbors, temple and fellow parents (or anyone within earshot) that you are doing better than you really are, that you make more money, are wealthier, smarter and have more power and social standing than the next schlub.
Soon to be depopulated by a wave of McMansion foreclosures. The boutique clothing stores are soon to follow, once people stop buying overpriced schmattas to impress their neighbors. Next will be the repossession of the leased Range Rover and Mercedes.
Life in Calabasas means a constant attempt to pretend to your neighbors, temple and fellow parents (or anyone within earshot) that you are doing better than you really are, that you make more money, are wealthier, smarter and have more power and social standing than the next schlub.
Here is a user's guide to living in Calabasas:
Be pushy and aggressive and others usually will roll over.
When in doubt, sue, or just do it anyway to get your own way.
Get dirt on people to hold over their heads, because they are doing the same to everyone else.
Rampant gossip circulates in nanoseconds because there is no honor among the douchebags, yentas and bubbes that hover like vultures at schools, malls, gyms, nail salons and coffee bars to dish on everyone.
The sly ones pump maids, gardeners and security guards for information on everyone. Non-Hispanics don't realize that there are no secrets when se habla Espanol.
Schadenfreude is the local contact sport. After all, it could by you next so why not enjoy another's problems?
Parents exaggerate and lie about their children - theirs can do wrong, so it must have been somebody else's kid, and probably yours, that did something unspeakable.
Teachers and school administrators may be bribed or bought off by daily Starbucks deliveries and prepaid standing appointments for their mani pedi at the local salons. They also respond well to overpaid tutoring engagements to supplement their salaries off the books (no checks, please).
School grades are negotiable and are always inflated when talking with other lying scum. Nobody calls anyone out on anything because they are all complicit in the fantasy and denial.
Is it less expensive to keep up appearances than to go to therapy?
Be pushy and aggressive and others usually will roll over.
When in doubt, sue, or just do it anyway to get your own way.
Get dirt on people to hold over their heads, because they are doing the same to everyone else.
Rampant gossip circulates in nanoseconds because there is no honor among the douchebags, yentas and bubbes that hover like vultures at schools, malls, gyms, nail salons and coffee bars to dish on everyone.
The sly ones pump maids, gardeners and security guards for information on everyone. Non-Hispanics don't realize that there are no secrets when se habla Espanol.
Schadenfreude is the local contact sport. After all, it could by you next so why not enjoy another's problems?
Parents exaggerate and lie about their children - theirs can do wrong, so it must have been somebody else's kid, and probably yours, that did something unspeakable.
Teachers and school administrators may be bribed or bought off by daily Starbucks deliveries and prepaid standing appointments for their mani pedi at the local salons. They also respond well to overpaid tutoring engagements to supplement their salaries off the books (no checks, please).
School grades are negotiable and are always inflated when talking with other lying scum. Nobody calls anyone out on anything because they are all complicit in the fantasy and denial.
Is it less expensive to keep up appearances than to go to therapy?
by Freckles are beautiful January 14, 2010
Get the Calabasas mug.by patty mcpatters November 2, 2011
Get the Caledon mug.Related Words
caleb
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• CALEBISM
• caleb and ayla
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Cale is a genius in anything and everything he does
Is sexy and a gentlemen any person would be lucky to have one in their lives
Is sexy and a gentlemen any person would be lucky to have one in their lives
by Gooder Gooderton April 23, 2018
Get the Cale mug.stuck up, bitchy, horny, "straight but willing to experiment", rich, slut princesses (with the exception of the minority of genuine people) and many of the guys are self centered egotistical testosterone filled jackasses with their heads shoved so far up their asses they cant see anymore and can go fuck the horses they rode in on twice because they are chauvinistic, condescending, patronizing, manipulative, imbroglio-causing, mannerless, naive, pricks with no respect and it is disgusting how they treat women and think so highly of themselves... then again the way many of the girls around here act, they probably deserve it, if theyre not totally provoking them.
this does NOT apply to everyone.
this does NOT apply to everyone.
by Jessi December 30, 2003
Get the Calabasas mug.I mostly eat out girls, but I identify as calebsexual because he’s the only male I’d do sexual activities with.
by Ex February 21, 2019
Get the Calebsexual mug.by EliGoldRush March 9, 2014
Get the cageballing mug.When you're making love to a woman in the missionary position, but have to finish quickly, therefore you push her legs over her shoulders and keep them straight with your upper body, whilst continuing along with the sexual penetration in a frantic and rapid motion, much like a jackhammer hitting concrete.
"Bro, was at this chicky babe's house last night but had to meet up with the boys in 10 mins, so gave her the Calabrese Jackhammer and got out of there quick "
by MinchiaSteve September 13, 2017
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