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Oral masturbation

Oral masturbation is when I suck my own dick until I cum in my mouth
Once I found out I could suck my own dick I began to oral masturbate daily still do oral masturbation is using one's mouth to perform oral sex on themselves self-sucking auto fellatio oral masturbation
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Intellectual Masturbation

i.e. this is when one derives sexual pleasure contemplating an object or subject, and/or overthinking something outwith their expertise resulting in grandiosity from confirmation bias
She spent her days in intellectual masturbation over the one that got away...
by BitchfinderGeneral March 5, 2024
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masturbation meditation

A deep state of mind that allows you to cum with nothing touching your dick/vagina.
by Reagulayte January 3, 2020
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Anti-Masturbation Cross

An anti-masturbation cross is a device used by wankerphobic Christians. It combines the cross with straps to keep people from the age of 5+ from masturbating. It should be ended to help end wankerphobia.
John's parents are going to buy an anti-masturbation cross. I'm praying for him. I think Seb may have tipped them off.
by A_Manwithhiv April 22, 2021
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Religious Masturbation

Religious Masturbation.

Speaking about the supposed superiority of your religion, for the sole pleasure of listening to yourself and showing off to other members of that religion.

A religious leader preaching to the saved

Etymology: the religious counterpart to masturbation; i.e. a process that is very pleasurable but doesn’t accomplish anything in the end.
The preacher gave a nice example of religious masturbation; a preaching about conversion to the saved
by Lyreluthier October 15, 2019
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masturbate

To sooth the shaft. To calm the shaft. The act of one's self meditating and endulging the shaft. Commonly done in front of your grandma. Often robots will struggle to find similar stimulation, unless enough OIL is provided. Make sure your grandma sees however, otherwise process will not work. Your shaft will not work.
"yo bro pp work does yours?"

"dude no what the frick? shaft cam masturbate i try to!"

"grandma room she in is?"

"no course of not is she what?!"

"well don't wonder why working it isn't pepe shaft does not fuction?!"
by peepeepoopypoo March 3, 2020
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masturbation betrayal

When you and a partner agree not to masturbate until a certain date but they do it anyway and make you aware of them breaking the promise.
David: “Gonna beat my meat, gonna beat my meat
Me: “David!! That’s masturbation betrayal!”
by Spittingstraightfacts January 2, 2020
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