Masturbating

Something you do when you need a quick fix because the real thing isn't available.

Jerry: Hey what are you up to?
Frank: I'm masturbating.
Jerry: Ok hit me up when your done.

by Jiggywithit455 June 12, 2022

Multi-Masturbation March

A proposed internet challenge which takes place in the month of March. On the 1st, participants would wank one time, and on the 2nd, they would wank two times, multiplying the times they wanked the day before by two. They would go so on, until they wank over 1.07 billion times on March 31st.

A: "Man, my arm is so tired after Destroy Dick December..."
B: "Thought that was hard? Better get ready for Multi-Masturbation March."

by potatoman- August 31, 2025

Masturbating

what you do when you see your Grandpa.

Grandpa: *leaves room*

You: *Starts jerking off and Masturbating*

by The master of masturbating November 16, 2020

Third person masturbating

To pleasure oneself in a mirror to a picture of oneself.

I walked into the bathroom to see Chad watching himself in the mirror jerking off to a picture of himself.. he was third person masturbating

by Professional ego striker January 4, 2025

Chronic Masturbation

When you are a socially inep involuntarily celibate due to poor dating and social skills, and sees porn every day and leaving cum stains everywhere in your house nonstop, as a way to cope with loneliness. Never goes out, doesn't exercise nor does improve social skills, and yet this special type of breeds can usually be found moderating around Discord, Tumblr, and Reddit as power-hungry mods or working remotely in a part-time job as a twitter moderator.

Jerry never finds a way to prevent chronic masturbation. He clearly didn't recover after getting rejected by Stacy for not being himself a Chad, as he believes.

by TheKamikazeMonkeys February 27, 2023

Scottish masturbating

A combination of having an orgasm, taking a shit and puking at the same time.

''Dude, after masturbating on a Scottish way it takes a huge amount of time to clean it up.''
- ''Yeah man, that's the disadvantage of Scottish masturbating!''

by idgafosoae April 12, 2017

Canadian Masturbation

Masturbation but Canadian, much like Balkan rage.

Guy 1: "Yo Eric just did Canadian Masturbation!!!"
Guy 2: "Oh yeah, he's from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, right?"
Guy 3: "That's why its Canadian masturbation and not normal masturbation!"

by Jonathan Werd December 23, 2024