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Cellular Masturbation

A person who plays on their cellphone while on the toilet
I think there is cellular masturbation going on in the stall over because he is laughing for no reason whatsoever.
by jondich February 1, 2021
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deranged masturbation

psychopathic masturbation that leads to admission to a mental facility.
“i found her taking part in deranged masturbation
by eyd1804 March 11, 2024
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masturbated

MAN I DIDNT MASTURBATED TO YOUR DOG
by deezgonnasuicide November 10, 2021
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masturbation professor

The very essence of UBC Computer Science professors. Unfortunately this disorder passes onto its top students as well.
You need to pay each of the masturbation professors a total whopping sum of 1 million dollars per course per term as they masturbate on both the male and female instagram profiles of their students and talk incoherently in lectures just to pass time and disorient their prey.
by MatrixEnergeticWar September 10, 2023
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Masturbation

The more you masturbate the smaller your dick gets
Did you know you get a smaller dick by masturbation
by Weeb2021staysafe December 29, 2021
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Masturbate

When you are so depressed that it's your only way of escape. Sure you can get pleasure from it, but it's temporary. And then you get even more depressed. Like cigarettes, It begins as a very fun and new and exciting process, given that you just discovered your puberty. But over the years, you just get tired of it.

You get tired over it and want to stop this once and for all. But you can't. You can't because it's just so addicting. It's basically self harm but a lot, lot less painful and harmful. But its still tiring. You can't stop. You regret ever starting it. But it's your only way of escape, from all your pain, suffering, and tiredness. Ever time you masturbate, you feel absolutely ashamed, pathetic, miserable and like an absolute piece of shit.

You start by feeling horny as fuck, either you probably open p*rn or just create pictures in your head of whatever fetish you have. I mostly have a fetish of female neck movement, and (partly) NATURAL and NOT FORCED female hiccups and burps. Enough of that. After that you hold your cock or shove in pussy (depends if you're a boy or girl. I am of the former.) And then you pleasure yourself as if you're having sex, but you actually don't. Many use lubricants like lotion or oil, or soap when you're in shower. but I personally prefer dry. I mostly masturbate during shower and before sleep. It's shitty, really.
Corbin: *goes to sleepover and can't masturbate*
Corbin: "guess I won't sleep today. I really need to masturbate. But I don't wanna. Man, my life just keep getting shitter."
by Joshua Joestar (MvN) June 20, 2022
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National Masturbation day

A day where you HAVE to masturbate, the date is May 7th
by Glizzy_lizzy September 12, 2022
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