Jesus Juicer

A person obsessed with making organic fruit juice to sell at stands near children's schools. He spends hours obsessively manufacturing sweet fruit juices, in order to get the little kids hooked on it, so he can make money to support his religious causes.

How does Jimmy contribute so much to our church? Didn't you hear? He's a Jesus Juicer.

"Mommy, why does that guy always sell juice at that stand near out school?" "Darling, you stay away from him! He's a bad Jesus Juicer".

by SultrySloth April 22, 2019

Jesus butthole

What some dogs have. The two calics on each thigh are the hands and the butthole is the head. If you look at it closely, it kind of looks like Jesus at the last supper.

"My dog's got a Jesus butthole!"

by ahumanbeingwhoisaperson December 3, 2020

Traffic Jesus

A driver (male/female) known to ALWAYS allow others the right-of-way, often causing his/her passengers to become angry at them for being overly nice to any and all traffic.

Dan: "Dude, your dad is always letting other people go first, even when it's HIS turn. No wonder we're always late.."

Chris:"I know man, he's a total traffic jesus."

by SeñorFrog January 23, 2017

Jesus Fisting

Fisting somebody with a Jesus Fist while screaming "Jesus take the wheel"

I love Jesus Fisting

by Rexoto July 10, 2014

Lesbian Jesus

An ethereal being, If you find a hot gay being, There is a chance that they are Lesbian Jesus. They lord over and watch over gays. You will know you have met Lesbian Jesus if they bless your fucking soul by saying "Gay gay homosexual gay." NOT ALL GAYS ARE LESBIAN JESUS.

Gay #1: ITS LESBIAN FUCKING JESUS
Gay #2: FUCK WE GOTTA BOW

Lesbian jesus is a gay being

by Lesbianjesusfolower#582 June 28, 2023

Jesus Antlers

An abstract concept that generalizes what every white blooded American should stand for.

Cletus - Wesley, did ya remember to pick up that case of PBR and the mountain dew?
Wesley - Hell yeah, I'm always wearing my Jesus Antlers.

by Batdad Merla February 17, 2013

Tape Jesus

A formal religion that exists in only certain minds. It is nearly impossible to join because Jesus is part of a clout gang.

Unfortunately, Tape Jesus is unavailable because his cult is worshipping him at the moment.

by Tape Jesus’s Secretary December 22, 2018