tight as assholes

Someone who does not want to spend money

Craig will not pay for a beer because he is tight as assholes

by Dlarmstrong December 13, 2017

Jesus Christ up the asshole

Someone so religious that they would take Jesus' dick up the asshole if the bible said so.

Dude your girlfriend would take Jesus Christ up the asshole before you.

by John OHHH YEAH January 25, 2009

What an asshole...

1. In the context of a conversation:
a)A way of commenting that a third party is an asshole
b)An under-the-breath muttering in response to some offense, essentially a roundabout way of calling the offender an "asshole." Can be used seriously or for humor.
2. In the context of a single party speaking: A way of recognizing that the previous comments made were insensitive.

Allan:...and then Kareem punched me in the balls
Nish: what an asshole...

Kareem: Oh shit, I just spilled coffee on your laptop
Allan: What an asshole...

Kareem: Your relationship is doomed to fail
Vaishnavi: What an asshole...

Kareem: I'm sorry.. I couldn't hold it in...
Natsuki: What an asshole...

Kareem: ...but then I slapped her. What an asshole.

by aznhazmat February 1, 2009

Tailor your asshole

Tailoring an asshole is a very delicate procedure where a man with a beard of great girth licks your asshole. This is a very delicate process because he must lick it like an ice cream scoop on top of a cone. His beard may touch, but only on the cheeks never getting in the way of the actual anus. Due to this delicate process a sober hobo or bum can be used, but is not recommended.

Mustaches of any kind, neck beards, goatees, and mutton chops are not suitable substitutes.

"I got my asshole tailored so good last night by some guy at the party." - White Young Female in her 20's

"Bitch, I will tailor your asshole so good tonight!" -Older Black Gentleman in his 40's

by Crusty Peas February 4, 2013

assholes

People that can't appreaciate all kinds of music no matter what genre.

Backed up all though music history.And from my expirences in the late 90's and 2000 years.People that will just fucking mess with you for liking one band or singer they don't.

Me: I like pop,rap,punk,country etc.
Them: Shut the fuck up!That kind of music sucks!
Me: Assholes! Why do you have to ruin everything good about music in general.

by kizzelly June 2, 2004

asshole

1. anus
2. George Bush Jr & Snr

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the boss.

The brain said, "since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss."
The feet said, "since I carry man where he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, then I should be the boss."
The hands said, "since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the boss."
And so it went with the eyes, the heart, the lungs, and all the other parts of the body, each giving the reason why they should be the boss.
Finally, the asshole spoke up and said it was going to be the boss.
All the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of the asshole being the boss. The asshole got so angry that he blocked himself off and refused to function.
Soon the brain was feverish and could barely think, the feet felt like lead weights and was almost too weak to drag the body anywhere, the eyes grew bleary, and the hands hung useless at the sides. All pleaded with the brain to let the asshole be declared the boss.

And so it happened; all the other parts did all the work and the asshole just bossed and passed out a lot of crap.

THE MORAL: You don't have to be a brain to be a boss, just an old asshole.
Alternate moral: No matter how well things are going, it can all be shut down by a single asshole.

by chridam April 13, 2006

asshole maneuver

an asshole maneuver is an action performed by an asshole (person) that directly affects a reciever of the action in a negative way.

Dan- "Shirley didn't even show up to her date with joe."
Mo- "Damn, what an asshole maneuver."

by stephan666 October 19, 2005