Skip to main content

Hairy Dooters

Harris Teeter is the King of Hairy Tits. A lot of people may wonder if Harris Teeters (AKA Hairy Teeters, Hairy Teeth (Hairy Teethers) or Even a Hairy Tooth (Hairy Toothers) are the same things as Hairy Deuters (Thou Shalt Not Deuteronomy), Dairy Hooters (AKA Dairy Hoots), Hairy Dooters and Hairy Doots. No, but they are similar in the fact that Hairy Dooters (AKA Hairy Doots) resemble 5th assholes covered in black hair that can appear anywhere on your body and Harris Teeters along with Dairy Hooters (AKA Dairy Hoots) are like 5th hairy nipples that can do the same.

In some extreme cases, you may have everything from the Dirty Hairies and the Hairy Canaries down to the Dirty Cahooters and the Wooly Babullies, Doodie Croutons, Dut Cracks and the whole nine yards.

Dairy Nipples and Nairy Dipples are fifth hairless nipples that can grow anywhere on your body. These are a lot like Hairy Dooters & Hairy Deuters (AKA Hairy Doots which are fifth hairy assholes) and Dairy Hooters (AKA Dairy Hoots which are fifth hairy nipples), only the latter ones listed here just so happen to produce hair, not so unlike a Harris Teeter.
"Thou shalt not forsake the name of my hairy dooters against a wall!"
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO February 27, 2023
mugGet the Hairy Dootersmug.

Maroon Hairy J

Maroon Hairy J is a common nickname for italian-american males named Josh. They are often given this nickname by friends due to the abundance of hair stemming from their scalp and upper-lip area, and the frequency in which they wear maroon-colored clothes.

MHJ (shorthand) is typically a stoner friend who believes all republicans belong in hell. Their favorite TV character is shaggy from the scooby-doo series due to the similarities they share in personality and personal acumen. Often times a MHJ will become agitated at the use of "Maroon Hairy J", but will shortly afterwards use it in self-deprecating jokes that make their closest friends laugh AT them further.
Guy 1: Who just shit diarrhea all over this fucking bed!
Guy 2: I think it was that fucking creep Maroon Hairy J
Maroon Hairy J: Sorry guys I ate some extra greasy gabagool! My bad, I will clean it up in a few days!
by The Gronchler August 26, 2025
mugGet the Maroon Hairy Jmug.

Hairy Noogie

Like a normal noogie, but the main goal is to mess up the victim's hair. The technique may be closer to a dutchrub as you want to use your whole hand, not just your knuckles.

Tips:
Flatten out your hand and let your fingers fly.
It does not have to be long, just destructive.
Best victims are those with neat, medium-length hair.
Bridger cares so much about his hair, so I'm going to give me a Hairy Noogie and mess it all up.
by WedgieLoser September 3, 2025
mugGet the Hairy Noogiemug.

Hairy Doormat

The act of rubbing someone's face into your pubic hair's.
Manny was talking mad shit, so I had to give him the hairy doormat.
by TheMonkeKing November 7, 2023
mugGet the Hairy Doormatmug.

Hairy Turtle

I hooked up with this guy who totally had a hairy turtle.
by Turtley December 27, 2021
mugGet the Hairy Turtlemug.

Hairy Noose

A term used to describe the effect on many unfortunate men of woman's greatest weapon. A weapon shamelessly wielded by a certain type of woman, effectively more often than not, to wickedly get her own way and reduce men to pathetic approximations of what they once were. The first sign of it's effect is typically when a male goes missing from weekly boys nights, card games, fishing trips and the like. More serious effects may even extend to a woman gaining access to such things as a closed male only WhatsApp group with understandly disastrous consequences.
Conversation over a beer:

Dude 1: What's happened to Joe? Haven't seen him for donkeys.

Dude 2: the dopey cunts fucked. He's shacked up with some ranga scrag who's been riding him to within an inch of his life. He's had a lengthy dry spell up to now so you can't blame him for dipping the wick but she's mad as a cut snake and won't let the poor fucker take so much as a piss without written permission. He'll wise up soon enough once he gets a decent look at her melon in the sunlight but for now he's well and truly caught in the hairy noose. I'd give him a month and we'll see him back. He loves the suds.
by SqueezyKneezy April 17, 2019
mugGet the Hairy Noosemug.

Rose-hairy

A legendary level of fuzziness achieved by a girl named Rosemary whose body hair game is so strong, she could single-handedly knit a sweater during a heatwave. Often spotted rocking shorts with the confidence of a bald eagle in a wind tunnel.
Dude, I thought a squirrel brushed past my leg, but nope—it was just Rose-hairy leaning in for a hug.
by ThePunisher_617 June 12, 2025
mugGet the Rose-hairymug.

Share this definition