Kaiser

A unit of measurement, usually used for comparing dongs, which obtains its' value from what is in Jake the Snake Kaiser's pants. Its' legendary status earned it the right to be a unit of measurement. 1 kaiser= 1.5 ft=.47 m.

Luke: I know it's gay to mention, but I saw a guy in the changing room at the Y who was only .033 kaisers long. It was like a tic tac.

Brennan k.: The 3 repeating of course.....

by kcma May 10, 2011

Kaiser Chiefs

A "wacky" indie pop group from Leeds with about as much depth as the shallow end of a paddling pool. Were previously a garage rock group called Parva but became Kaiser Chiefs when they realised copying American rock wasn't earning them any fans or credibility. Hence, they decided to copy 90s Brit rock instead. Against all odds have become hugely popular, probably due to the fact the NME spent every other issue hyping them up. Consistently use amazing and often poignant lyrics to comment on everyday British life, such that would rival the wit of Morrissey eg "Cause we are birds of a feather and you can be the fat one" Despite their lack of song writing skills everyone seems to love them. Fans defend them because they are apparently just cheeky lads making good indie pop music, however, The Futureheads manage to do this far more brilliantly. Some may question the integrity of the band, especially when one reads that Ricky Wilson claims he would "wank of a tramp for success"

"ohhhh, and my parents love me...na na na na na na na"

by oh stella July 15, 2005

Keiser

to spear someone through the head with a very blunt object.

"How did the victim die?"
"well, he seemed to have been keisered with a broom"

by Zyte January 15, 2009

keiser

An elder's word for a vagina

My grandma told me to find a skirt that covered my keiser.

by garin7878778 January 15, 2011

Keiser

Adj. or verb. can mean anything sexual or illegal that you do or do to someone else.

"Dude I totally Keisered that chick last night and gave her the Kyle driver."
"Awesome."

by Wasteurshot January 15, 2009

Kaiser

Kaiser is the name given to a boy who is, to sum it all up, TRASH. Kaiser is a boy that has trust issues. He's usually very childish and immature and never takes things seriously. He usually apologises for things and then does it again. He is not that peng at all in all honesty and they usually have dry lips. Kaiser is usually smart and in a top class but that means they are very moist. A KAISER usually breaks and doesnt care about it. Never date a Kaiser!

Person 1: Im dating a guy, his name is Kaiser.
Person2 :Well that's your funeral.

by perezfinest June 8, 2019

Kaiser

Kaiser: a humoristic title for a very rich and succesful person that is extremely extravagant (like an emperor of an empire), naming shaming and claiming the world, the universe and beyond. Comparable to the title of being the biggest boss that you´ve seen thus far.

John became a very succesful international entrepreneur after he graduated from Harvard Business School and during his extremely extravagant 30th bithday party the girls called him Kaiser.

by Bram Speelman July 16, 2011