Defensive Attendance

Attending a meeting where you are optional or not invited at all just to make sure you can deflect any work assignments that come out of it. Wasting an hour to save hours.

I don't have any questions for the speaker. Mine was merely defensive attendance.

by PsychoPuppyDad May 11, 2022

Elf Defense

Actions taken to shield oneself from all of those cutsie elf on a shelf pictures posted on-line, and other cutsie elf pictures, or "elfies." This includes deleting said pictures, making disparaging comments about them, or posting not-so-cute pictures of an elf.

Why did you delete my elf on a shelf picture? It was Elf Defense! I'm sick of those elfies.

by GypsyMiss November 12, 2014

homo defense

Extremely tight suffocating defense. Not allowing one to successfuly to get an advantage.

Darrelle Revis played homo defense on Ocho Cinco.

by GODLE August 14, 2011

defensive end

The most boss position on the D-Line in football. Main job is to contain the edge

My homie Daquan plays Defensive end on the football team

by niggazwithattitide September 2, 2017

bathrobe defense

A last act of desperation. A staged performance of mental Incompetency calculated to excuse bad behavior or avoid consequences, e.g. parading in the streets in a bathrobe like Vito Gigante, “the Chin.”

The politician has become so desperate To explain his deplorable behavior that he’s pulling out his bathrobe defense.

by Jean Dizzy December 25, 2019

the masturbation defense

The universal alibi used by criminal defense attorneys and criminals. The accused will use the "I was at home masturbating" defense to avoid conviction. Defense will provide dna evidence and semen samples to the prosicution resulting in an acquittal, mostly.

detective: Sir, we know you did it we know you lured those minors. you also have alot of teenage boys and girls on your facebook page. We have witnesses and physical evidence linking you to these crimes.

handjob Bob: I was at home masturbating, mostly. You want proof?

detective: "The masturbation defense" huh? you have surviellance video of you masturbating?

handjob Bob: Better, I have DNA evidence and witnesses who can back that up.

by TheFirst48 January 22, 2010

Defensive Walking

The pedestrian version of defensive driving used to anticipate walking errors of others in overpopulated areas.

"Dude, I was in Chinatown the other day and defensive walking saved me from a low speed collision."

by Lokiejones November 7, 2011