Chonkster

A massive, overconfident dude whose entire personality is built around sports, protein shakes, and being loud for no reason. Usually built like a refrigerator with legs, laughs at his own dumb jokes, and somehow thinks barely passing school is a personality trait. A chonkster can often be found stomping down hallways with a backpack that contains nothing but an empty notebook and a half-eaten granola bar.

Common traits:

Talks about the same 3 plays from last game like they were historic events

Thinks yelling = being funny

Built like a tank but loses every argument that requires thinking

High-fives people aggressively for no reason

“Teacher made him read a paragraph out loud and the chonkster went: ‘The… eco… sys… tem… is… im… por… tant…’ sounding like a microwave trying to read a textbook.

by Common Enemy #2 March 11, 2026

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