put up a shelf

code for masturbation when you are in a public forum.

My wife had a headache last night, so I put up a shelf

by lxb112 August 11, 2010

upasna

Kick ass bitch who ain't scared to do shit.

Yo, ima upasna that bitch after school.

by gang.blood January 17, 2017

Working Up A Penrose

A cock that is semi-hard but extremely red after repeated masturbation or a marathon sex session. Resembles a Penrose brand sausage.

Devon watched porn all weekend long and was working up a penrose after two days of repeated wanking.

by Eaton Holgoode July 2, 2009

cat stuck up a tree

cat stuck up a tree refers to news, especially local news which is utterly pointless and of no interest to anyone whatsoever but talentless hacks put it on the telly nevertheless.

talentless hack from Border Television's Lookaround: "We are coming on live and exclusive coming from Hawick where there is a cat stuck up a tree"

by Ryan Dollard November 26, 2006

fuck up a one car funeral procession

this is for the complete lamo that most likely doesn't have 2 brain cells to bounce together. If you think about a funeral procession, and how it takes a little bit of effort to keep it organized...now pare it down to one car, yes, just one car - the idiot him/herself.

That moron could fuck up a one car funeral procession.

by grataballi October 23, 2005

Whip up a Batch

A guy masturbating quickly.

I caught him whipping up a batch to internet nudies.

by November May 20, 2005

upayan

A kid who crazily takes all AP/Hard courses possible, and then while doing badly justifies it.

OMG! Did you hear that guy who took 10 ap's in 2 years!?

Wow, what a Upayan.

by SwagMasta101 September 2, 2014