The prophet of the red bull
A woman alone at night
Tired and sad the only thing keeping her alive is the threat of her girlfriends death
And
RED BULL
She would lay down her live for red bull
For redbull is the bringer of good the delivery of happiness the heroes of sleepy the winner of the battle of red bull or monster
Red bull is her god
Drink the blood of the red bull god in the crack house by the commons
Eat the meat of the red bull god
We shall rise
Red Bull will rise
If you go against the rule of red bull you will bath in the glorieuse juices until you are pure
Sin in the name of red bull
Never be quite yell only nonsense
Confuse and distract others
Insult the god and be thrown into the fighting pit for ever
______________________________________________________
THE PROPHECY
On night cold and dark
The wind will blow strong and the rain will pour
Rain? No red bull
The sun will raise
Sun? No red bull
The water will run to high
Water? No red bull
_____________________________________________________
If you want to be safe from the day of redbull
Join us
Save a spot in red heaven for yourself
A woman alone at night
Tired and sad the only thing keeping her alive is the threat of her girlfriends death
And
RED BULL
She would lay down her live for red bull
For redbull is the bringer of good the delivery of happiness the heroes of sleepy the winner of the battle of red bull or monster
Red bull is her god
Drink the blood of the red bull god in the crack house by the commons
Eat the meat of the red bull god
We shall rise
Red Bull will rise
If you go against the rule of red bull you will bath in the glorieuse juices until you are pure
Sin in the name of red bull
Never be quite yell only nonsense
Confuse and distract others
Insult the god and be thrown into the fighting pit for ever
______________________________________________________
THE PROPHECY
On night cold and dark
The wind will blow strong and the rain will pour
Rain? No red bull
The sun will raise
Sun? No red bull
The water will run to high
Water? No red bull
_____________________________________________________
If you want to be safe from the day of redbull
Join us
Save a spot in red heaven for yourself
by fuckingUSERNAME August 2, 2023
Get the the prophet of red bull mug.A self-important, loudmouthed try hard bar regular who treats every barstool like a pulpit and every drinker like a disciple. Known for preaching unsolicited opinions on women, politics, sports, social prowess, war stories (real or imagined), all with the conviction of a man who’s never been wrong in his life. His voice carries across the establishment and his breath reeks of whiskey and ego. He is incapable of taking the hint to shut the fuck up or to accept that his presence is, nor has ever been, welcome, necessary, or remotely as interesting as he believes it to be.
I left my buddy at the bar while I rocked a piss and he mistakingly made eye contact with the token Barstool Prophet—poor bastard was getting life advice before I even zipped up, and for the next several hours thereafter.
by msacco July 25, 2025
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