Cock out of a carrot

A phrase used to describe a someone of low intellect stating that they cannot do as simple a task as carving a phallus object into a penis.

He’s so dumb he can’t even make a cock out of a carrot.

by Dionysus’ dick August 1, 2020

Cock Slap of Destiny

When a man slaps a woman so had with his penis she becomes unconscious and has a dream about the future.

My husband gave me the Cock Slap of Destiny and I visited the future

by juicytangerine6969 June 29, 2014

Smoking Cock Gun of Misery and Despair

N. When you wake up during the night and your friend is fucking your girlfriend with a tuba and some sour cream.

Wow, last night I awoke to the sound of a tuba and the smell of sour cream, leaned over and saw my girlfriend had both of those in her vagina. My friend Toby just gave my girlfriend the Smoking Cock Gun of Misery and Despair!!!!!

by Twelve Bananas Yes...No May 26, 2009

Cock full of dew

When you sleep outside for the night and wake up to wet morning wood. Were you raped? Only by nature.

Carl: Hey Brad! My wiener is wet, did you rape me last night?
Brad: Bruh you just have a cock full of dew! You passed out in the grass after the party.

by Zort4Lyfe March 9, 2021

two shakes of a chimps cock

To be there in a minute. The full version of 'there in two shakes'.

'I'll be there in two shakes of a chimps cock Vera', shouted Mavis before grabbing her coat, rushing to the front door and setting off for a good night at the bingo.

by chesterpest January 22, 2010

nine inches of spunking black cock

What most white girls dream of getting in their mouths and pussies.

What did you wish for at the fountain?

Nine inches of spunking black cock.

Dirty bitch.

by Moon Fish May 8, 2009

Diary of a Wimpy Cock

A pathetically noodley, flaccid cock, destined to disappoint

When I saw Bert’s Diary of a Wimpy Cock, I had to excuse myself and leave the apartment.

by reginald dicks May 12, 2022