Jesus FC

A term used by football enthusiasts in lieu of "Jesus Fucking Christ" whenever someone misses a really easy shot. Originally used to refer to Gabriel Jesus, but now can be used to refer to any player

Jesus FC, how does Balotelli miss that?

by j0k#r October 29, 2019

Jesus Fisting

Fisting somebody with a Jesus Fist while screaming "Jesus take the wheel"

I love Jesus Fisting

by Rexoto July 10, 2014

Jesus Antlers

An abstract concept that generalizes what every white blooded American should stand for.

Cletus - Wesley, did ya remember to pick up that case of PBR and the mountain dew?
Wesley - Hell yeah, I'm always wearing my Jesus Antlers.

by Batdad Merla February 17, 2013

Tape Jesus

A formal religion that exists in only certain minds. It is nearly impossible to join because Jesus is part of a clout gang.

Unfortunately, Tape Jesus is unavailable because his cult is worshipping him at the moment.

by Tape Jesus’s Secretary December 22, 2018

Jesus Jive

A dance performed at a VBS or any very high energy worship service.

"Wow Mary Magdalene is really getting into her Jesus Jive!"

by Mablé Rekrek July 27, 2014

Jesus Crikey

A term coined by a person who doesn't know how to acurately perform an Australian accent. It loosely means "holy Hell?!"

Jesus crikey, that scared the absolute shit out of me!

by sacredpastadefines October 2, 2016

Jesus Brace

n. Colloquial, Possibly Australian

See also oh shit bar

Found in automobiles, but appear to serve no purpose other than
a) assisting corpulent persons and/or people to alight the vehicle
b) grabbing on to in times of a potential accident to brace oneself, i.e driver exceeding the speed limit

So called for one of two reasons
i) person grabbing the 'brace' praying to their respective deity to avoid the accident, being an english term this is most likely to be a christian, hence use of 'Jesus'
ii) person audibly exclaiming 'Jesus!'in the same situation as above

In absence of a bar, may also be referred to as a 'Jesus Strap'

Jim clutched the Jesus Brace as his brother went drifting through the mountains Initial D style

by andrewfx51 April 3, 2009