Skip to main content

Jesus Brace

n. Colloquial, Possibly Australian

See also oh shit bar

Found in automobiles, but appear to serve no purpose other than
a) assisting corpulent persons and/or people to alight the vehicle
b) grabbing on to in times of a potential accident to brace oneself, i.e driver exceeding the speed limit

So called for one of two reasons
i) person grabbing the 'brace' praying to their respective deity to avoid the accident, being an english term this is most likely to be a christian, hence use of 'Jesus'
ii) person audibly exclaiming 'Jesus!'in the same situation as above

In absence of a bar, may also be referred to as a 'Jesus Strap'
Jim clutched the Jesus Brace as his brother went drifting through the mountains Initial D style
by andrewfx51 April 3, 2009
mugGet the Jesus Brace mug.

Jesus Antlers

An abstract concept that generalizes what every white blooded American should stand for.
Cletus - Wesley, did ya remember to pick up that case of PBR and the mountain dew?
Wesley - Hell yeah, I'm always wearing my Jesus Antlers.
by Batdad Merla February 17, 2013
mugGet the Jesus Antlers mug.

Jesus Fisting

Fisting somebody with a Jesus Fist while screaming "Jesus take the wheel"
by Rexoto July 10, 2014
mugGet the Jesus Fisting mug.

Jesus Jive

A dance performed at a VBS or any very high energy worship service.
"Wow Mary Magdalene is really getting into her Jesus Jive!"
by Mablé Rekrek July 27, 2014
mugGet the Jesus Jive mug.

Skeet Jesus

When I person wanking, they blow their load onto a wall or bedshet, or your best friends mom. It makes the appearance of Jesus Christ himself.
Chip made a Skeet Jesus on Matt's mom!
by Holyswagness December 31, 2013
mugGet the Skeet Jesus mug.

Jesus Wheeled

When a driver cuts through heavy traffic giving up all power to Jesus to guide them through heavy traffic, usually throwing their hands up as if saying "Jesus Take the Wheel!"
"I just got Jesus wheeled by a mom in a minivan as she cut through three lanes of traffic without using her blinker!"
by Bg1981 January 2, 2014
mugGet the Jesus Wheeled mug.

Cup Of Jesus

Looks like this is going to be a crazy day today I need a cup of Jesus
by Random Chick June 6, 2015
mugGet the Cup Of Jesus mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email