Masturbate Theater

A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.

Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?

Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.

by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020

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Masturbate tomorrow

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Masturbate tomorrow Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

by Zack Lazer September 27, 2018

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tactical masturbation

It's a term for masturbating (or busting a nut) before meeting a girl or going on a date. Now.. how is it useful? Well it helps you to think with your brain and not with your dick.

My friend: Bro.... I made a mistake. I accidentally did the deeds with Lily...

Me: God damn Lily???? Bro you really should have tactical masturbation

by Harsit2006 December 29, 2023

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masturbation betrayal

When you and a partner agree not to masturbate until a certain date but they do it anyway and make you aware of them breaking the promise.

David: “Gonna beat my meat, gonna beat my meat”
Me: “David!! That’s masturbation betrayal!”

by Spittingstraightfacts January 2, 2020

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aural masturbation

When someone loves hearing the sound of their own voice, and that person's idea of a conversation is actually a soliloquy or monologue...and simply won't STFU.

Steve appeared to be blissful and aloof, oblivious to the bored and vexed faces of his companions, as he listened to the wall of sound exiting his mouth in yet another round of aural masturbation.

by MoGyver April 8, 2016

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