It is a well know fact supported by extremely qualified scientists that any child overexposed to Digital Networking (Social Networking)
will be afflicted by Robot Baby Syndrome. Robot Baby Syndrome (aka RBS) is the result of replacing physically social activities with digital communication. Common side effects of RBS are fire breathing, destruction and sitting alone in dark closets.
RBS was first discovered during World War
2 by researchers working on a cure
for epilepsy. Researchers first noticed the symptoms of RBS in test patients
but wrote it off as inconsequential thereby starting one of the greatest
cover up conspiracies in the
science community today.
Renegade activists
such as Tom Cruise, Mel
Gibson and Carrot Top have been working tirelessly
to bring the condition to light by spreading awareness of the dangers of
prolonged exposure to the
Internet. This is part of a larger private –
public effort driven by corporations such as AT&T, Time Warner and Pacific
Bell to push legislation against net-neutrality. They’re actually doing the
public a service by limiting their exposure to the
Internet.
Robot Babies: Timmy was on Facebook for 10 hours straight and had forget that his mother schedule a play
date for him with his friend
Mark. When
Mark arrived, Timmy became agitated and destroyed Marks face using fire and then proceeded to hide in the closet.