kitchen table lady

Someone who dabbles in a profession that they have little or outdated knowledge of.

Empty-nester who decides to dust off her twenty-five year old education degree and tutor local kids at her kitchen table, hence the term "kitchen table lady". Because she's a bit older people think she knows what she's doing, but since she hasn't kept up with changes in the field all of her methods are outdated. Also applies to decorators, designers, therapists etc. who may be well-intentioned, but are too backwards to do any good.

by bottomlless November 17, 2010

coffee table cockblock

When your getting frisky with a girl and you wind up on the floor. She then notices the ugly as sin coffee table you have and that ends your chances of getting any.

I was gunna get lucky but she saw the ugly ass coffee table i made during weilding and got coffee table cockblocked

by Lorck13 March 15, 2011

kids table

a phrase that describes the maturity level of someone that is very childish

"your little cousin loaded up a stink bomb inside a nerf gun and shot it at his bus driver, fuck no more kids table with those big boy moves"

by kool-aids man October 3, 2016

Uneven Table Top

When a female has one larger breast and one smaller breast, typically by a large margin.

Brooke has such an uneven table top.

by Payners November 6, 2016

lunch table loner

Someone who eats alone at lunch, usually one of racist or hateful ideologies

that dude is a lunch table loner, he despises black people

by alqudsi117 September 14, 2017

Open table

Calls for a celebration with the person who has to open table pays for the meals or drinks.

"I received my appointment!"
" Well, open table tonight then!"

by Lordraja December 14, 2018

The Table Flip

When you just finished hate fucking a girl, doggy style, and you flip her off of your cock, forcing her into a somersault.

Yo, I used The Table Flip on my X after giving her one last ride! She rolled off the bed!

by Sirup January 23, 2021