by Chris C. September 16, 2018
Get the Lock Assmug. A common rent-seeking practice where vendors design structures and contracts to give them control of customer data and code.
The steps involved in vendor lock-in are:
1) Identify lower-IQ management to engage with
2) Insert clauses into contracts where vendor retains customer data and limit customer access
3) Insert clauses into contracts where code development commissioned by the customer is proprietary to the vendor
4) Say whatever is necessary to ensure customer is at ease with the clauses, but ensure no such record
5) Sell customer's own data back to them, piecemeal
6) Resell the output of the code each time it is run
7) Collect economic profits
The steps involved in vendor lock-in are:
1) Identify lower-IQ management to engage with
2) Insert clauses into contracts where vendor retains customer data and limit customer access
3) Insert clauses into contracts where code development commissioned by the customer is proprietary to the vendor
4) Say whatever is necessary to ensure customer is at ease with the clauses, but ensure no such record
5) Sell customer's own data back to them, piecemeal
6) Resell the output of the code each time it is run
7) Collect economic profits
Vendor Staff: "The regulators of First Common Bank found evidence of overcharging . First Common needs us to pull account numbers on which customers got hit. I wrote up the query and pulled the data while I was on the phone."
Vendor Mgnt: "That's great. Let's write up a Statement of Work detailing requirements. Put in a long time frame for delivery, like a month or two. We'll price at your annual salary so it looks like we did some math. What is it again, like $127,400?"
Vendor Staff: "We can't charge that."
Vendor Mgnt: "Yes we can. Where else are they getting the data? They don't have it. I personally negotiated the vendor lock-in."
Vendor Staff: "We charged them $127,400 last time."
Vendor Mgnt: "That's great. Let's write up a Statement of Work detailing requirements. Put in a long time frame for delivery, like a month or two. We'll price at your annual salary so it looks like we did some math. What is it again, like $127,400?"
Vendor Staff: "We can't charge that."
Vendor Mgnt: "Yes we can. Where else are they getting the data? They don't have it. I personally negotiated the vendor lock-in."
Vendor Staff: "We charged them $127,400 last time."
by human-natured December 12, 2019
Get the vendor lock-inmug. “Bro that alien was so locked in we have to start the operation now” locked in alien means aliens who have aura
by Brainrotking January 9, 2025
Get the Locked in alienmug. A state of being in which your heart is permanently locked from being influenced romantically by any person, however it is also keyed, meaning that at one point by the present or the past someone very special breached your cold exterior and took up The Sword. That is to say, they joined you in the affairs of Man and Woman, and in the perfect world; husband and wife, both by the flesh and by the emotions.
Coined from the bios of those who let their relationship be known on instagram by stating their partners name/anniversary with a 🔐 emoji, thus “locked and keyed”.
Coined from the bios of those who let their relationship be known on instagram by stating their partners name/anniversary with a 🔐 emoji, thus “locked and keyed”.
Ricky: Hey man how’s stuff going with that girl you met on Tinder?
Vicky: going well bro. But she’ll never be the queen, she’ll never be the sword
Ricky: come the fuck on already!!! It’s been over a year you need to get over your fucking ex!!
Vicky: my heart, nay, every fiber of my being is locked and keyed to the wielder of the sword.
Bisexual Barack Obama: my fellow Americans, I uhhhh like pussy and uhhhh I like cock and balls too.
Vicky: going well bro. But she’ll never be the queen, she’ll never be the sword
Ricky: come the fuck on already!!! It’s been over a year you need to get over your fucking ex!!
Vicky: my heart, nay, every fiber of my being is locked and keyed to the wielder of the sword.
Bisexual Barack Obama: my fellow Americans, I uhhhh like pussy and uhhhh I like cock and balls too.
by Captain Cream Soda December 28, 2024
Get the Locked and Keyedmug. When Mrs. Hart Berg was taken up in an airplane by Wilbur Wright, she had used a hem-lock ti maintain her modesty --- i.e., she'd tied her skirt with a rope to keep it from "revealingly" billowing during the windy journey. This prompted the hobble-skirt to be invented.
by QuacksO June 9, 2020
Get the hem-lockmug. by Gio da PANDA July 15, 2016
Get the texas leg lockmug. Being so congested your sinuses and throat are full of mucus/snot, to the point of mouth breathing exclusively and
draining through the tear ducts in your eyes.
draining through the tear ducts in your eyes.
by smonkey81u812 December 24, 2023
Get the snot lockmug.