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Zombie wank

When put your hand in a bucket of ice for 15 minutes and have and wank
I got so bored the other day, that I got the ice bucket and had a zombie wank
by Crimpingshrimp November 8, 2018
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Wank Zone

The sacred time of disciplined commitment to ones self pleasure. This period is measured from the moment you initiate masturbation to the point ejaculation is complete and the jizz is disposed of.

The duration of the Wank zone varies from wank to wank due to a variety of contributing factors. However, studies of urban dictionary user's browser history and the average refractory period have estimated that this time can be anywhere from 90 seconds to 2 hours and 11mins.

Stimuli available at initiation and the proximity of either your spouse, children, co-workers or any other phenomenon can effect the duration and location you choose to enter the Wank zone.

Two popular strategies include the Top Deck and Clean and Jerk. Both can be performed hastily and efficiently in a bathroom under the cover of another activity. Typically, your device is positioned with a restricted viewing angle in case of detection (don't forget the mirror), volume down, blu tooth off and the exhaust fan on to enable more volume. Then stream your selected pornography (cumshot compilation or anal cum swappers are recommended) and enjoy being in the Wank zone!
Boris was fully established in the wank zone flogging himself silly when we barged through the door! Fuck it was funny! He said he was "just relaxing" as he extended his hand for an awkward introduction...John saw Boris's phone and was certain the female porn actress was urinating!
by LFBG2FG January 6, 2020
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Wank Slap

Where you slap yourself during masterbation either by accident or on purpose.
I gave myself a right badass wank slap yesterday.
by Piss Cheeser August 24, 2009
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Marine Wank

The act of masturbation in a semi-aquatic territory.

Open to both genders, a marine wank is most commonly (but certainly not exclusively) performed in the bath.
It is reserved for only the most progressive of wankers, the true cream of the crop. Those with a real appetite for their own genetalia.

Other more uncommon places to marine wank include public swimming pools, lidos, paddling pools*, ponds and lakes.

There are unconfirmed tales of people becoming addicted to marine masturbation. It is reported that people have become so desperate, they've been filling up sinks and dipping in their genitalia for a quick fix.

* please be noted that it is considered poor etiquette to marine wank in a paddling pool while children are present. You WILL go to jail, you dirty bastard.
Pal, I'm gagging for a marine wank. I might just dangle my balls in the sink for ease. It's a bit long having to run an entire bath at this time of night.
masturbate wank wanker
by PeadophileJenkins2 May 13, 2016
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Rogue Wank

You've prepared meticulously, however the mess escapes the meticulously pre prepared materials sock, tissue etc
Sorry babe I'm going to be running late just had a rogue wank and have to clean it up
by Ic3m4n 1975 April 18, 2019
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Wank Cramp

A condition found among those who take part in excessively (read: legendarily) long bate sessions whereby the tendons in one's fingers seize up, causing pain and a limited range of movement for a not-insignificant amount of time.
A: What you get up to last night, dude?
B: Err, I had a little smoke... and then I was tugging for England, mate. Musta taken me at least 10 hours to shoot!
A: Dude, that's epic!
B: Yeh but now my cock's sore and I've got wank cramp ¬_¬
A: LOL!
by UnMythic September 19, 2021
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wank bait

Seeing porn or hentai on a facebook which is pandering for likes!
"What's this post? Hentai, that's total wank bait!"
by rusty wank stain February 20, 2015
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