johnson-juggling

The act of stimulating a penis through mechanical hand motion. More often than not it denotes the stimulation of one's own penis by one's own hand, but it can also be used to describe the stimulation of the penis by the hands of a second party of the female gender.

1. Thadeus: ''Shit, man! I gotta put a stop to all the johnson-juggling. This is the 6th time this year I've had to get my spectacles prescription renewed''.

Alvin: ''I know, let's invent the 'johnson-juggling challenge!''

Thadeus: ''What the hell's that!?''

Alvin: ''Well basically it requires one to punish himself for any acts of johnson-juggling that he indulges in. The punsihment is that for each act of johnson-juggling that one indulges in, one must buy his opponent in the johnson-juggling challenge a beer at the next meeting''.

Thadeus: ''Awesome. Let's do it.

Note. Thadeus was tighter than 2 coats of paint. There was no way he was going to be buying Alvin beers. But...he was an honest guy so he just quit the johnson-juggling and saved himself the cash. IMPORTANTLY acts of johnson-juggling performed by a female are unpunishable.

by Papa J-Bomb January 3, 2011

Johnson, VT

Most fun part of Lamoilly County in Northern Vermont. With a pleasant mix of hippies, rednecks, and flatlanders, Johnson is an accepting and awesome place to do whatever the hell you want. Here you can see beloved locals like Perma-Trip, or visit The Hub or The Lovin' Cup, two yummy places to chill and eat. Tuesday Night Live is also a big deal, it's boring but a lot of the old hippies go. JSC is a college full of weird people and you can Frolf there, and the town has a ton of studios for local artists. There's also a lot of places to swim in the summer and you can hike too. Johnson is the best twon ever, it's tiny, but you'll never get bored.

Dude I'm really bored.

It sucks we aren't anywhere near Johnson, VT, we could just hang out there.

by ilovermontmd June 30, 2011

Johnson

The type of guy to shit his pants and say he didn't shit his pants and when his friends find out he did he says just kidding.

Johnson shit his pants, he was exposed by John and Johnson said "Just kidding!"

by Flex1231231232131123 April 23, 2018

Jonsen

Jonsen. Short for Jonesing. Exhibiting a craving for something while going through withdrawals. Could be interchangable with buggin.

Man, I am really jonsen for a beer.

Damn dude, you are really jonsen over that girl, get over it, she is done with you.

by TraceJ May 29, 2019

Johnson juice

The hot steamy liquid that erupts out of your penis when your exceed 2000 strokes

Person 1: “Man I was going to town on my dick last night!”
Person 2: “Did you blow that Johnson Juice?”

by ThoseHorribleSchoolChromebooks May 9, 2023

Johnsonius theorem

The theory that supports the idea that air has no mass although it has matter, this is shown because buildings don't collapse because of the air above and surrounding it, if air truly did have mass then why aren't we floating because the air should take up the space beneath us and compress to such high levels that it repels us but instead it doesn't so therefore air can only be considered a force due to it's invisible nature similar to that of gravity

"I highly support the Johnsonius theorem because I'm smart"

by BLUELOCK CULTIST May 29, 2023

Unicycle Johnson

Used during roller hockey games. When a player on skates is not looking, an opposing player comes up from behind and sticks the blade of his stick between his legs and hits him in the balls. The player then proceeds to drag the unwilling recipient as far as he can on skates.

Billy didn't like the way Tom was playing in the hockey game, so he gave Tom a unicycle Johnson during a time out and Tom hasn't played since.

by Bryan McCabe December 26, 2006