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Desk Monkey

Definition 1. A person employed to do the administrative work as determined by the job and is not responsible for controlling or changing company structure or operations.

Definition 2. A person employed in an administrative position, that is overworked, undervalued yet is essential to the business organization

Definition 3. Someone who sits in front of a computer, day in day out, working for someone else
(Colloquial) "I’m just the desk monkey!" akin to "Don't ask me, I'm just the Desk Monkey"
"Go ask that Desk Monkey over there for the annual report"
"Get the Desk Monkey to do it"
by ValChic December 22, 2020
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Monkey Knuckle

When fisting someone's anus, and you pull your fist out covered in poop.
I can't believe they didn't clean themselves enough to prevent me from getting monkey knuckles.
by unrealism September 5, 2021
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The monkey guts

Cheetawolf: This is: The Beatles, The monkey guts... And the alien entrails
by ♥🗺☠ June 29, 2021
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Yarn monkey

A male individual who holds the skein of yarn for the woman he loves while she knits or crochets.
Look a that yarn monkey. He must really love her...
by Tullie November 18, 2011
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Tarp Monkey

Creepy guy usually found in parents dark basement surfing porn sites because that’s as close as he’ll ever get.
Tarp under computer chair to catch body fluids.
Check that douche by the bar, probably a tarp monkey.
by rockkid June 29, 2011
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IT Dust Monkey

An IT manager, IT technician or IT support officer who uses air cans to clear filthy dust out of dirty old PC's, thus contaminating the office air for all non-IT staff to have to inhale.
Kevin the IT Dust Monkey says
"This laptop is over-heating, I think it's because of dust contamination around the CPU and cooling fans. I am going to use my magic air cans to remove the dust."

Nigel says
"That's not healthy". That means you and your colleagues are going to have to inhale filthy dust full of skin cells, dust mites, pet hair, micro-organisms and general filth. Can't you keep a vacuum cleaner close by - at a sufficient distance to prevent causing static but close enough to capture the disturbed dust, do it outdoors or in a well ventilated area?"

Kevin says, in typical IT Dust Monkey style - nothing - and caries on spraying dust all over the office.
by CheekyChappy November 23, 2011
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Mysterious Monkey

Considered to be one of the hardest and most impressive sex acts out there the Mysterious Monkey is a combination of both The Houdini and The Monkey Face. Before beginning you must first conceal either pubic hair (or ass hair) using a proper sleight of hand technique. Now take your girl or guy from behind and give them a proper ramming. Just before you blow your load pull out and spit on their back. When they turn to look at the amazing load they just receive you simultaneously blow your real juices in their face and then smear the concealed hairs all over while they look on in complete shock and confusion. While extremely difficult to pull off if done right your partner will be so shocked and impressed they will not know how to process what just happened.
Last weekend I finally pulled off the Mysterious Monkey. Suzy and I were going to town and just as we were both about to blow I hit every part just right. The emotions after went from pure shock, to confusion, to anger, to one of the best laughs we have ever had. Took our relationship to a whole new level.
by Work Head December 1, 2018
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