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Mock turtle

A Mock turtle occurs when one has what feels like a poo brewing, and upon trying to defecate finds nought not even or gas.
I felt a huge shit brewing so went and laid a dissappointing mock turtle and I had not even a wiff of gas.
by Athadan October 25, 2009
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Ninja Turtle Sex

Sex with a backpack on.
W: Let's go have ninja turtle sex.
M: What's ninja turtle sex?
W: It's sex with a backpack on.
by Mr.MasterShake April 22, 2016
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hillbilly turtle sex

adjective:
1. The act of having turtle sex, hillbilly style.

2. A sexual position with the male crouching and the woman laying face down under a coffee table with her waist lifted slightly off the ground, while the man holds a wiffle ball bat used to whack the woman over the head whenever she pops it out from the opposite side of the table.
"Man, she was ugly as shit but I was fresh out of bags, so we just had hillbilly turtle sex instead. It's the best kind of hate sex, too! It turns out a wiffle ball bat leaves no marks. She won't admit it after the fact, but I know she liked it."
by SirDeity August 29, 2011
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Turtle Penis

a penis that looks like a turtle because they have not been circumsized.
Turd Ferg has a turtle penis.
by pinchewey June 26, 2010
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Double Turtle

Double Turtle

When one is in the state of defecating, wipes their anus, yet after careful introspective investigation realizes they have not fulfilled their deficationary quest and releases a healthy portion of excrement on top of the wiping paper. The turtle being the excrement as it exits the bum hole, 2x excreting this turtle= double turtle
I took a hardcore double turtle whilst in the can
by Y33t October 24, 2014
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turtle hunter

An act of homosexual anal sex; searching for a turd with one's penis.
Person1: "That guy over there is probably gay."
Person2: "Yeah, he's a turtle hunter."
by Taylor Pendley September 26, 2006
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turtle twat

i haven't felt a turtle twat that tight since i broke into the zoo

this is the wettest turtle twat i felt since margaret thatcher sat on my face
by kris! April 24, 2007
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