turd wannabes

Loosely held together feces that is too solid to be considered diarrhea yet too divided and "small-chunkish" to be considered a turd. These inferior poop chunks are notoriously known for the pain and uncomfortable feeling they give. Since they consist mainly of water and generally have low-poo density (see Type 5 and 6 on the Bristol Stool Scale) these "fluffy pieces with ragged edges" will definitely sour the remainder of the day. Being in relationships to alcohol, these chunks almost always making an appearance during a DADS. Worse yet, they are forever jealous of the their more popular turd brethren. They are turd wannabes.

My DADS this morning was awful; it consisted mostly of water, pizza, and turd wannabes.

by Idontfunkwithyou March 13, 2015

turd burnishing

Trying to polish or perfect something that doesn't benefit from, or is worthy of, such effort.

I spent four hours editing my latest Urban Dictionary entry - I'm such a turd burnisher.

Our boss spent the whole retreat going back and forth on our "Mission Statement" - we burnished that turd but good.

Give David the newsletter / social media project - he loves turd burnishing, and is damn good at it.

by Bono Lex January 31, 2014

turd serpent

When you take a huge dump that comes out in all one piece and shoots down the toilet drain with only a small fraction of the turd showing

Tom was horrified after he realized a turd serpent had came out of his anus and clogged the toilet.

by Turdserpentcreator November 30, 2014

Turd Fingers

Term to describe the brown and yellow nicotine stains on the fingers of smokers.

"Dude, you need to quit smoking and clean up your nasty turd fingers"

by krissy betch August 6, 2013

Herb Turd

The aftermath of emotionally displeasing a male Herbert. A Herb Turd is an irrational response to a seemingly ordinary situation. The Herb Turd can be identified by unfriendly behaviour, faceblocking and the establishment of ancedotal chinese whispers.

Person 1: I tried to contact Herbert via Facebook the other day but he was gone from my friends list

Person 2: Man, you totes got faceblocked. Thats a Herb Turd right there, and believe me, that shit sticks.

by HighLevelDisinfectant May 20, 2011

astro-turds

The little black rubber pellets used for cushioning on artificial playing fields.

You could tell he was in bounds because when he dragged his foot you could see the astro-turds popping up.

by R. Apfelbeck December 10, 2008

Turd Insurance

(noun) - the act of a person taking a friend with them to see a new movie at a theater, and paying for both tickets, for the purpose of making a potentially bad movie (i.e. a turd) more enjoyable for them.

Boy 1: Hey, Jimmy! I really wanna go see the new Spiderman movie, but I need some Turd Insurance. You interested?
Boy 2: Sure, but you're buying, right?
Boy 1: Of course! I'll even throw in popcorn and a drink, if you promise to sit through the whole thing.

by Jambo_11 July 22, 2012