bleeding the weasel

To have anal sex and tear through a matted patch of anal hair, then plowing said ass until bleeding occurs.

Man I was totally bleeding the weasel with Lisa last night.

by Emerica ann August 25, 2014

Taunt the one-eyed weasel

Euphemism for masturbation.

Person 1: "Wanna go to the mall?"

Person2: "No sorry, I gotta go taunt the one-eyed weasel."

by DirtyDan'sBiggestFan July 20, 2017

chum the weasel

To suck a dick

Brandy said she was on her period , so I asked if she could just “chum the weasel”

by JFrizzy September 28, 2020

sneeze the weasel

To masturbate; the weasel is the dick being sneezed.

"Bro, why are you so late for the meeting?"
"Ah, sorry, I got really horny and had to sneeze the weasel."

by RegaTheChad June 16, 2021

Used His Resources Wisely

Cheated

Guy 1: How did Jon score so high on that math test? I know he didn’t study.
Guy 2: He “used his resources wisely.” He sat next to Kyle.

by AnonymousAligator June 11, 2022

Cheesing the weasel

Fooling an asshole into thinking he’s having sex with you, when he’s actually ducking a tube of Pringles

“My ex-boyfriend was trying to get back with me, so I was cheesing the weasel to show I’m not interested”

by Frii October 27, 2022

jack out the weasel

When you beat your meat or somebody else beats it for you. Jerkin the gerkin.

She said she would jack out the weasel and then we would watch Futurama.

by senior jota April 10, 2023