so im sat in wide space, sat to create
something out of nothing, bring it into a world thats shared, and i know there lies my biggest fear, almost undescribable, and im struggling to identify this fear, im older now and things become patterns, routines, so how do i know i do or don't do things because i fear or my experience tells me to leave it untouched (because i see no gain from it or its simply a "bad" idea)
i long to conquer what holds me back, i havent even begun to bite out a fat chunk of whats
on the other side,
I mean is it essentially fear of failure, that would ring an old bell, like when dad used to put me down (im sure he wasnt aware of what he was doing and i am old enough to kick these memories away but im not pro enough to detect where these wounds are hiding, like if they are embedded in some of my favourite routines, in my
sophisticated repertoire of poor excuses.
so i let this be my next study. fear and where it may hide, the sniper
on the roof top who views the scenery through the long shot. Its
the only thing that can hold me back.
the only thing capable of stealing my life, robbing me of everything i deserve.
