Jews for Jesus

1. An individual who follows the teachings of Jesus Christ and other guidelines for the Christian faith (i.e. religiously celebrating christmas, easter, and other Christian holidays) but still insisting that they are Jewish.
2. People that nobody takes seriously because they are morons.

Jew for Jesus: Good afternoon, I'm a member of the ever growing religious orginization "Jews for Jesus".

Jew: FUCK YOU!

by j e w May 19, 2006

Angry Jesus

Occures when a female ties a naked male to the bed in the shape of the cross, and walks out.

I'm so mad that, that bitch put me in an Angry Jesus last night!

by T1T4Nium 5p0rK March 17, 2007

sweet feathery jesus

A phrase uttered out of disgust, surprise, awe, etc. Most likely coming about due to the popular idea of angels having wings and therefore having feathers. I'm pretty sure if Jesus had wings they'd be more like a bat's wing rather than feathery but whatever.

First heard on the Phil Hendrie Show by Pastor William Renick.

Tommy: How much to get my brakes fixed?
Mechanic: That's gonna run you 'bout $700.
Tommy: Sweet feathery Jesus!

by Butt-nut May 9, 2007

Jesus Himself

A fucking amazing internet celebrity, A self centered fuck with a mohawk thats growing constantly,Most people think he is a fag, but he fucks more bitches than you can count.
Everyone Loves him but his haters, Everyone wants to BE him. He has a really big dick.

"Aaron Long Is Jesus Himself!"
"I wish I was Jesus himself"
"He tried to cut his hair like Jesus Himself, But it totally didnt work"

by Kayla Malcolm January 2, 2008

Jesus Christ

A cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father and can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Damn, that guy Jesus Christ sure is bad-ass. He somehow managed to revive himself after being nailed to a giant board. Props, yo.

by Levi Hizzle August 13, 2009

Jesus H. Christopherson

When you start to take the name of the Lord God in vain but then follow it up with an 'opherson' at the end so it doesn't seem like you're breaking one of the commandments.

Someone that is supposed to be a Christian and -lets say- works in construction is hammering a nail but smashes his finger and yells; "Jesus H. Christopherson!"

by auditus maximus July 1, 2005

Jesus in Japan

A person who is like a fish totally and utterly out of water in every way, yet, they completely and effortlessly rule wherever they are, like a King Beagle or Top Dog

The name coming from the wildly juxtaposing idea of the Catholic/Christian messiah being in the most techonologically advanced country in the world.

"Man, check out Simon walking through those guys' hood, he's like Jesus in Japan!"

"I don't believe that, the quiet guy in the hat just strolled in here like he's King Beagle, threatened to Chamberlain one of those bikers, and sat down calmly, just like Jesus in Japan."

"Check that guy out, he doesn't speak a word of their language, dress the same or even care, but still, he's like Jesus in Japan."

by Tuco LeBlanca April 14, 2008