Canada's History is one of the world's most extraordinarily controversial sex acts, and is infamous for being notoriously difficult to perform. It gained popularity in 1987 when PETA launched a campaign against the act because of its mercilessly cruel treatment of animals (the iconic "Ban Canada's History" campaign).
Only two men and one woman can perform Canada's History, and both men must be physically flexible to complete the final stage. To perform a Canada's History, one must obtain authentic moose antlers, a replica of the Stanley Cup, maple syrup, a beavertail, a live Canadian loon, kerosene, a lighter, a length of rope and a Nickelback album. If you use a Celine Dion album from the mid-nineties the act is referred to as a Canada's Antiquity. If you use a Strapping Young Lad album, Canada's Histrionics.
Only two men and one woman can perform Canada's History, and both men must be physically flexible to complete the final stage. To perform a Canada's History, one must obtain authentic moose antlers, a replica of the Stanley Cup, maple syrup, a beavertail, a live Canadian loon, kerosene, a lighter, a length of rope and a Nickelback album. If you use a Celine Dion album from the mid-nineties the act is referred to as a Canada's Antiquity. If you use a Strapping Young Lad album, Canada's Histrionics.
He's crazy you know -- I heard he once did a Canada's History with that chick who works at the 7-11.
by Capillarian February 5, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. the sexual act of having a group of men with explosive diarrhea defecate into an unconscious woman's vagina. After all the men present have made bowel movements, the woman is hung upside down by her feet. The men then take turns guzzling maple syrup and then inducing vomit onto the woman's vagina. The woman, still hung by her feet, is spun around in circles so the rope, cable or chain used to bind her, when let go, causes her to spin wildly out of control. As this happens, the men masturbate. The last man to ejaculate is punched in the face until the suspended woman stops spinning and comes to a complete and total rest. That man is then adorned with moose antlers and must sit on a replica of the stanley cup whittled from the largest log of a beaver dam. The replica also must be filled with poutine (a canadian cuisine consisting of french fries, cottage cheese and gravy). He must remain on this replica until the suspended woman has awakened and consumed all of the aforementioned contents of her vagina with a red and white candy-striped crazy straw.
Stephen Colbert had to suspend his show for a week because he stayed home sick from participating in Canada's History.
by bar britters February 5, 2010
Get the canada's historymug. When it is so cold outside that when one farts, water vapor is seen from the farters ass. Exactly like a cars muffler in winter.
Dude: Fuck it's cold as shit outside!
Guy: No shit, I saw folks leaving church this morning and this one dude was kind enough to hold his fart the entire service. He definitely had a Canada Exhaust Pipe.
Guy: No shit, I saw folks leaving church this morning and this one dude was kind enough to hold his fart the entire service. He definitely had a Canada Exhaust Pipe.
by WholePriest December 30, 2011
Get the Canada Exhaust Pipemug. In Canada forks have been banned. Many Canadians gave forks to the wild Canadian geese outside of Tim Hortons and the geese used them as weapons, enslaving half of Ontario. Since then, forks have been banned from many Canadian provinces. As I am writing this I am eating salad with a knife. Stupid geese
by Obsessive_Fangirl June 1, 2021
Get the Canada fork banmug. by JoyDivisionIanCurtis January 30, 2012
Get the I'm Moving To Canadamug. All the blue states that voted for Kerry in the 2004 election... the states that are so embaressed that Bush won the election and wish they belong to Canada instead.
Contrasted to all the red states, called Jesusland.
Contrasted to all the red states, called Jesusland.
by majenwen November 30, 2004
Get the United States of Canadamug. Hates her "favorite" son because he moved to Canada. Thinks anyone who isn't Chinese is some kind of rapist. Has never been to an actual school. She thinks world war II is going on in Canada. Paralized and stays in a bed all day. Real name is ____ ____ Stick, which makes sense because if she says anything racist ever again I will shove a stick up her saggy ass.
by Your ugly ass mother May 20, 2017
Get the Canada Hating Grandmamug.