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Cosmic Piñata

An entity/person/thing that is responsible for actively or passively absorbing bad events (or, taking the 'hit') so that good things can happen to others, or so that others can avoid bad things.

When it happens passively, the Universe is picking on you.
When it happens actively, the unfortunate person is fixing their karma.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Hey, I heard Steve got struck by lightening thirteen times yesterday!
Guy 2: Yeah totally. I was standing right next to him. If he didn't take it all I would have gotten struck too!
Guy 1: Oh God, yeah, Steve must be a cosmic piñata. Last time I was almost hit by a car but Steve appeared out of nowhere-the car swerved and hit Steve instead!... We're lucky he was with us when shit happened!

Example 2:
Guy 1 does 20 gacha pulls in a mobile game and get rubbish. Guy 1 is a conmic Piñata because he unwittingly raised the chance for another player to get something good.
Guy 2 does 1 gacha pull and get 10 x 5* characters. Guy 2 got lucky because Guy 1 absorbed all the trash.

Example 3:
Girl 1: Hey look! a Louis Vuitton for only 50 bucks on this website!!
Girl 2: *pulls out credit card and buys 10* - OMG! I NEED!

Girl 2: *Finds out it was fake and the thieves stole her credit card details and maxed it out. She didn't have theft insurance.* - Shit!

Girl 1: Oh God! Lucky you found out or it would have been me who would have been conned!
by TaoistCat October 4, 2020
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Cosmic Piñata

An entity/person/thing that is responsible for actively or passively absorbing bad events (or, taking the 'hit') so that good things can happen to others, or so that others can avoid bad things.

In most cases when an inordinate number of misfortunes occur seemingly as a 'string of bad luck,' the universe is most likely picking on you.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Hey, I heard Steve got struck by lightening thirteen times yesterday!
Guy 2: Yeah totally. I was standing right next to him. If he didn't take it all I would have gotten struck too!
Guy 1: Oh God, yeah, Steve must be a Cosmic Piñata. Last time I was almost hit by a car but Steve appeared out of nowhere-the car swerved and hit Steve instead!... We're lucky he was with us when shit happened!

Example 2:
Guy 1 does 20 gacha pulls in a mobile game and get rubbish. Guy 1 is a Cosmic Piñata because he unwittingly raised the chance for another player to get something good.
Guy 2 does 1 gacha pull and get 10 x 5* characters. Guy 2 got lucky because Guy 1 absorbed all the trash.

Example 3:
Girl 1: Hey look! a Louis Vuitton for only 50 bucks on this website!!
Girl 2: *pulls out credit card and buys 10* - OMG! I NEED!

Girl 2: *Finds out it was fake and the thieves stole her credit card details and maxed it out. She didn't have theft insurance.* - Shit!

Girl 1: Oh God! Lucky you found out or it would have been me who would have been conned!
Girl 2: God I hate being a Cosmic Piñata! What did I do to deserve this!?
by KenshoMo October 17, 2020
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Angled Pinocchio

When you have intentions of penetrating a woman’s vagina, but accidentally push up instead of in resulting in a cut that goes upward through the body from the genital region with the precision of a scalpel which makes for a very painful torn clitoris and in some cases, a gutted girlfriend.
“Don’t talk to him, he gave me an Angled Pinocchio.”
by Prescription Bottle February 16, 2021
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Seattle Pilots

A 1969 MLB expansion franchise that lasted one season before relocating to Milwaukee and becoming the Brewers
The ineptitude of the Seattle Mariners can be traced back to the lone season of the Seattle Pilots.
by TeaN'All February 18, 2021
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The Pinocchio

When a woman has three or more penises controlled by one common string and the gentleman say “I’m a real boy” in unison.
I heard Margarita did The Pinocchio with the starting five lineman of the football team.
by SmithDickey January 13, 2021
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The Pinocchio Internet Act of 1992

An act that does not allow any tiktok users to tell lies on the internet
Jane123Lol: Omg. I this tiktok is so funny! I was there when they filmed it
Richard0_: @Jane123Lol omg delete this! Haven't you heard about the Pinocchio Internet Act of 1992? You can't be telling lies online
by NOIE_LIMAC February 9, 2021
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Viking Piñata Funeral

A funeral process where a person’s cremated remains are set out to sea on a ship that is then lit on fire via fire arrows that are shot from the shore, then, the funeral attendees equip diving gear and collect the ashes, whoever gets the most wins the person’s will
“We had a Viking Piñata Funeral for Tyler last Saturday, he will be missed”
by Raccski April 10, 2021
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