Johnny Walker's law

Johhny Walker's law occurs when, in an Internet argument, an interlocutor posts an arguement so stupid he winds up pwning himself.

Named for a brand of Scotch which the man who inspired the law was fooled into sending to a fake person for fake information, thereby destroying his chances of ever being taken seriously again.
1. Iain Hall: "John, the facts of the matter are that for all of the Warminista posturing the Australian people are not convinced, check out the two polls that each show more than 70% of the respondents are “unbelievers”."

John: Surname "It’s the idiotic right at work - Iain chooses apparent public consensus on two News Ltd webpolls (which can in no way be rigged by Andrew Bolt and co.), over the scienetific consensus. Why do I get the feeling he just lost that argument on his own? I name this Johnny Walker's law."

2. Iain Hall: "I am not claiming that the Polls are in any way definitive but they are consistent with straw polls that I have conducted myself amongst friends and acquaintances, basically most people do not believe the AGW hypothesis, or they feel that the problem is exaggerated by true believers like yourself."

Sammy Jankin: "Another great example of Johnny Walker’s law in action. “Sure, those polls don’t really mean anything. But I asked my mates, and they don’t believe in AGW, and my mates are a suitable subset of the population from which to draw statistical inferences.”"
by W.A Stalker July 18, 2009
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Johnny Depp Syndrome

When a straight man sees another man that is so cute, he would go gay for that one particular man.
Johnny Depp is so freakin' cute, I would totally turn gay for him. I think I'll diagnose him with what I'll call, Johnny Depp Syndrom.

Man, Tim has Johnny Depp Syndrome....
by Sigjap April 07, 2011
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Big Dick Johnny

An act where you terrorize multiple Jewish homes with that big dick hanging out while fucking the shit out of your uncle and selling children to pedos.
Hey uncle wanna preform Big Dick Johnny

Sure Derick
by Biggestniggerdick March 07, 2021
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johnny come lately

Someone who shows up late, often.
by m267 June 25, 2009
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Dirty Johnny

When you have a friend who always lies about going to weddings so he can get out of social events.
Guy 1: Are you coming out this weekend.

Guy 2: No, I’m going to a wedding, AGAIN

Guy 3: Ohh he’s just pulled a dirty Johnny
by Derek Dyson July 07, 2020
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Johnny Depp

Pirated. To pirate (as in software). Refers to Johnny Depp starring in Pirates of the Caribbean.
"I had a 'Johnny Depp' version of Windows XP, and my conscience got the better of me, so, like an ass, I went legit and bought a licence. Now, I have more problems with my computer than I did before!"
by Duanester May 24, 2008
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Had a Johnny moment

Trying as hard as possible to make a cohearent sentence and or being the biggest idiot possible during a given situation.
Last night Nick was flopping all over dylan's couch and babblin' like an idiot.
Yeah He Had a Johnny moment.
by Webenator April 06, 2015
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