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Sad Boner

sad boner (noun):
A melancholic phenomenon that occurs when one's nether regions become engorged with gloomy desires. This peculiar state of arousal brings about a simultaneous surge of longing and despair, making it the perfect embodiment of Emo or Goth sensibilities.

Originating from the depths of existential angst, a sad boner stands as a symbol of a tormented soul, trapped in a physical manifestation of emotional turmoil. It is an embodiment of the eternal struggle between desire and desolation, where the body yearns for pleasure while the mind wallows in melancholy.

This unique state of erection, often cloaked in black attire and adorned with sorrowful accessories, embodies a paradoxical fusion of longing and hopelessness. The sad boner's somber aura is best complemented by dark eyeliner, brooding music, and poetic soliloquies about the futility of existence.

To experience a sad boner is to dwell in the twilight realm of desire, where pleasure and pain intertwine like vines in a neglected cemetery. It is a paradoxical dance of excitement and sorrow, evoking a morose aesthetic that could make even Edgar Allan Poe shed a tear of grim admiration.

Caution should be exercised when encountering a sad boner, as attempting to assuage its melancholy with conventional means of arousal may prove futile. Only the gentle touch of an understanding soul, versed in the art of consoling melancholia, stands a chance of appeasing this enigmatic entity.
"Amidst the haunting melodies of The Cure, his heartache took a tangible form—his sad boner stood erect, a poignant symbol of his love's tragic demise."
by Alba82 June 9, 2023
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110% boner

A boner that's so hard that your dick literally hurts.
Bob: ayo Jerome I gotta boner and it's kinda killin' me

Jerome: aha! A classic case of the 110% boner I see

Bob: the what?!?
by TheDefinitionsMagician December 2, 2022
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Bible Boner

When a member of the Christian faith is impressed with another Christian.
Pastor Greg really enjoys spending platonic time with Jessica, I think he has a bible boner.
by Rotten Apple A&E November 23, 2018
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Perma-boner

This weird ass security guard at Stevens High School that has a hard on whenever he’s around kids
Guy 1: Look it’s perma-boner!
Guy 2: What the fuck
by Mr McNigga November 28, 2018
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Atomic Boner

An atomic boner is a type of boner you can get sometimes that can cause pain and screaming and possibly even destroy your schlong. If you ever get one you must stay away from the lotion.
And the boy said while playing Call of Duty "AGHHHH! ATOMIC BONER!"
by Dandongding July 31, 2017
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golden boner

Mike didn’t feel like going to bathroom before he masturbated so he pull off a “Golden Boner”.
by Andy Gold February 21, 2019
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Boner Fuel

a thing or person that gives you a raging boner.
"Damn that picture is pure BONER FUEL"
by nut button March 13, 2019
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