beardnik

Beardniks are easily recognised by their pungent, unkempt beads, predilection for violent anal fisting, addiction to amyl nitrite and uncanny aptitude and passion for trigonometry. They are often found driving rusted HG Holden sedans to sex shops, where they buy inordinately large quantities of latex gloves, dental dams and chocolate-flavoured lubricant.

"Oh man, that's a real gone maths problem. My chode aches for a solution. Let's crack open some amyls, do some trig and rim the night away!"

"Dude! You sound like my grade nine maths teacher - a freaky beardnik!"

by Roy and Dave July 30, 2009

Beard Blasphemy

The standard punishment resulting from secretly being jealous of another man's beard due to the fact that one is afraid a fist will pop out of it and knock their teeth out.

After I crushed the Block exam they just got in their cars and drove off. I guess their dental insurance didn't cover beard blasphemy?

by Tadalafil September 14, 2010

Beard Miscarriage

The act of accidentally and prematurely shaving off facial hair because you adjusted the electric trimmer to the wrong setting

I had a beard miscarriage. Meant to trim it and ended up shaving off a strip, so I had to take the whole thing off.

by coining buttress January 25, 2011

blood beard pirate

When a large bearded man gives oral sex to his girlfriend while she is on her period.

Dude have you shaved?
-Nah man not in a few months.
Gonna give you girl the blood beard pirate, eh?
-Absolutely not.

by Vulkan November 20, 2009

frosty beard

When a man's beard gets covered in semen.

Mike ended up with a frosty beard when he got done blowing Milo.

by PartyBoy1981 December 17, 2011

Beardo

Beardo is the name of a legendary murderer. He supposedly works in a high school in New Jersey as a janitor. He kills people by rubbing his beard all over them until they are dead. During a bearding you may hear Beardo say things like: "Oh yeah, you're going to get the beard" or "I'm going to rub my beard all over you." Beardo makes a noise when he's bearding someone. You can imitate the noise by doing the following: Open your mouth and keep your lips loose. Make a low-pitched hum while shaking your head from side to side. Don't do this for long however because you might attract Beardo.

Unsuspecting victim: "What was that? I sure hope it wasn't Beardo waiting to beard me!"

Beardo: "Oh yeah, I’m going to beard you so good! <Beardo's noise>

Victim being bearded: "No, no, please no, anything but the beard!"

Beardo: “The beard is exactly what you're going to get!"

by BeardoFinder March 5, 2008

Beard baby

1. The child that a closeted gay male concieves in an attempt to quiet gay rumors or to prove manhood. Usually, this child is concieved in late adolescent period or during college years.

2. Child concieved with a homosexual male's beard...usually for reasons stated above

P1: I didn't know Oscar had a child
P2: Yeah, but that was before he came out, it's just his beard baby

by the Coventry April 27, 2010