Hired

Happy and tired

I couldn't fall asleep bc I was so hired.

by Kileyy April 19, 2018

your application for hire

hey matt rose fans

"'Enthusiastic' is misspelled. We cannot afford these mistakes at our corporation. We reject your application for hire."

by AlphanumericUsername May 19, 2025

DEI Hire

An unqualified person you only hired because they are your relative, an in-law, a frat brother, or are the child of a business partner.

Joe's DEI Hire Biff needs help operating a stapler.

by cb757 February 5, 2025

Somebody hire

When the company you work for hires the first person that applies because "somebody is better than nobody" but your stuck with the training.

Damn it Kris, they sent me another Somebody hire. At this point it would be easier to do it all myself, this one is untrainable.

by BozOU44 June 5, 2025

hiree

a godness, sexy and intelligent. thanks for being born with a name like that

"hiree is one of the 7 wonders of the world"

by san's wife June 28, 2021

hired vindicator

A "copycat" crook who is employed by a suspect in a recent crime to discreetly (i.e., without being recognized or caught) commit one or more similar crimes in the area while the suspect is in custody, thereby "proving" that the suspect isn't the one guilty of the "original" crime, since more crimes of the same type are being committed while he himself is out of circulation and thus could not possibly have committed them.

Being a hired vindicator might have its advantages, but it can also backfire, in that crimes committed by others can be falsely pinned on you. For example, Person A commits a burglary, and then sometime later is arrested and detained as a possible suspect, despite his professing his innocence. Person A's cronies then hastily scatter around and hire Person B to commit a string of additional burglaries in Person A's local area in an effort to draw suspicion off of Person A. But then one or more other local crooks commit subsequent burglaries in the same general vicinity, and so if Person B is eventually apprehended, he will likely be suspected of **all** of the burglaries, including the ones committed by these "new" criminals.

by QuacksO June 13, 2018

Ted Cruz hire

(n.) An employee who nobody likes to work with, nobody enjoys to be around but for whatever reason one or a few very powerful people want them there anyway.

Well, the Ted Cruz hire finally got caught stealing from the employee fridge but even then nothing will be done about it.

by arf79 June 6, 2024