Tortoiseitis

Slower than fuck. A very slow person.

It takes that bitch forever to put her makeup on she has tortoiseitis.

by Mike Hawksbigger January 31, 2023

Touching The Tortoise

Masturbation of the male genitals

Touching the tortoise- masturbation

My girlfriend sent nudes, I’m going to touch my tortoise to them

by WillyMaster1001 November 4, 2023

Flippy the tortoise

a cute little tortoise with the smarts of 10000000000000000000000 people she will take over your brain

omg, look at the tortoise!
oh that's flippy the tortoise don't make her mad or shell kill u

by kam the ham August 29, 2022

stroke the tortoise

Refers to masturbating an uncircumcised penis.

Hey, I was with Kenneth last Friday and he asked his girlfriend if she wanted to stroke the tortoise; in front of everyone.

by deepthong November 22, 2022

Naughtis Tortoise

When someone says something you don't agree with or find a bit weird or controversial (e.g acting sus)
You would Use this set of words in the beginning of a sentence or just say them on their own after the phrase you dont agree with occurs.

Person1: Wait there a second i'm coming now
Person2: I'm 'coming' in your mom hahaha
Person3: Naughtis Tortoise, why you got to be acting sus like that

by OatmealUser January 3, 2022

tooter tortoise

a tortoise that farts out of control.

my tortoise is a tooter tortoise

by kidsareweird January 27, 2022

Tortoise

THE MOST BADASS ANIMAL ON THE PLANET. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A LIVING TANK.

"Damn do you see that guy over there who owns a tortoise?"
"Fucking badass"

by LiverGiver February 11, 2021