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Touching The Tortoise

Touching the tortoise- masturbation

My girlfriend sent nudes, I’m going to touch my tortoise to them
by WillyMaster1001 November 4, 2023
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joyful tortoise

The joyful tortoise lives in the state of Florida where adultery is the lowest per capita and it may be why it has the most cities that have Saint in their name.
by Coop Dupe January 13, 2020
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Tortoise and Hare

When a big, beefy, silent, serious and wise guy is in love with a petite, agile, active and sunny girl, who is in love with the guy.

Normally this relations works like this: The guy (the tortoise) is the brains and brawns of the couple, and the girl (the hare) is the Public relationships Manager. She will start the 99% percent of all conversations with strangers while the tortoise hugs her from behind and hides himself behind her, in any other non-social activity, this is reversed: The tortoise would instruct the hare to climb on his back to carry her around everywhere like a human backpack, of course while constantly hugging him.

While in public the hare takes the dominant role to iniciate activities and talk to other people, this role is reversed in private: The guy takes the dominant role (sexually) and is the ones who tops. However, the tortoise still has the responsability to make sure his hare is comfortable and safe during sex. Is absolutly normal for the tortoise to eventually get his legs tired and fall off, in this case, the hare is allowed to cowgirl until climax or tiredness. In the later case, the two will just hug, kiss and rub thelselfs to eachother, while also both masturbating their partherns specifict reproductive aparatus.

Tortoise responsabilities: Teach your hare about life and make love to her.

Hare responsabilites: Keep your tortoise active with new stuff and make love to him.
"Have you seen THAT guy that pick up Anna everyday?"
"Yeah, her boyfriend. She randomly found him roaming around and decided to adopt him."
"Wait, ins't that also the same guy that in collegue only spoke with teachers, uppercuted Jerry and stabed Flynt, and still got A+ in all assignatures?"
"Yeah... i saw him on the gym too, his arms and legs are made of adamantioum or something like that."
"Yeah but ins't he kinda chubby?"
"Well Anna loves him to death, so i guess he really is one of the "good guys"."
"Yeah.. they are totally a Tortoise and Hare."
by Fgyjt May 25, 2023
mugGet the Tortoise and Haremug.

Roller skating tortoise

When the golden brown tortoise appears without announcement. Leading to shit yourself issues.
I was happily talking to this hot girl and the roller skating tortoise arrived
by Stenhousemuir nill February 26, 2022
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stroke the tortoise

Hey, I was with Kenneth last Friday and he asked his girlfriend if she wanted to stroke the tortoise; in front of everyone.
by deepthong November 22, 2022
mugGet the stroke the tortoisemug.

tortoise tickler

When being anally fingered so deep that the finger reaches fecal matter.
We were in a gay tussle when he used the tortoise tickler, and then he had to stop to wash his hands.
by Myspeakingpseudonym July 4, 2015
mugGet the tortoise ticklermug.

Whiskey Tortoise

Flaccid, impotent male genitals that result from consuming too much alcohol (esp. whiskey or bourbon).
"He got so drunk and later, in bed, he had a total whiskey tortoise. I lied and told him that it was fine and that all that mattered was being close to him."
by Tortoisemaster August 26, 2013
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