"You can heave and strain on da wrench till Doomsday and never get a stubborn bolt loosened, but then just as soon as you ask a stronger --- and probably very busy himself --- person to come and help, DAT'S when da blasted bolt actually WILL yield, either when you give a final demonstrative yank on da wrench to show da second person how supposedly stuck da bolt is, or when he himself hauls back on da wrench and said previously-cranky bolt unscrews with little effort on his part, indicating dat your OWN last tug actually HAD cracked it free after all, and so if you had 'just given it one more go' yourself, you actually COULD have gotten da bolt out on your own, without having to interrupt your now-ears-smokingly-annoyed-at-being-needlessly-called-away colleague in da first place."
I wonder if da inventor of da impact wrench had originally felt prompted to do so due to his having frequently encountered Murphy's Law of Bolt-Loosening???
by QuacksO February 13, 2023
Get the Murphy's Law of Bolt-Loosening mug.The law states that if you wait in line, usually an hour or more, for a roller coaster, that coaster will break down just before you get on it. The breakdown in this case forces you to miss the ride.
After waiting for 2 hours to ride Kingda Ka, it just HAD to break down on me! Murphy's roller coaster law at work!
by Always Obsessing July 10, 2023
Get the Murphy's Roller Coaster Law mug.1. anything than can go wrong, will go wrong
2. if there's multiple way something will go wrong, it'll go wrong in the worst way possible
3. if you'll thought of 4 ways the thing will go wrong, it'll go wrong in the 5th way
4. if you try to play some video games in secret, urmom will find out
2. if there's multiple way something will go wrong, it'll go wrong in the worst way possible
3. if you'll thought of 4 ways the thing will go wrong, it'll go wrong in the 5th way
4. if you try to play some video games in secret, urmom will find out
by missingno_kekw March 7, 2022
Get the Murphy's Law mug.by Geometry dashing June 29, 2025
Get the Milo Murphy's Law mug.If you order just one of said tasty sandwiches, you will still feel hungry afterwards, but if you ask for two of them, you will only be able to finish one, and so you'll hafta just refrigerate da second one for later.
Having a friend treat you to lunch is a classic occasion for Murphy's law of footlong-subs to pounce and embarrass you. One simple and sensible way to avoid this face-reddening situation would be if your friend both has a smaller appetite than you and likes a lot of da same kinds of filling-ingredients; in dat case, you could just order two sandwiches, eat one, have your friend consume his fill of da other one, and then give da rest to you to finish along wif your own.
by QuacksO August 15, 2025
Get the Murphy's Law of footlong-subs mug."You can sit and watch a documentary-video on YouTube for extended periods with little or no advertisement-interruption, but then just as soon as you turn up da speaker-volume and go into da next room to take a dump, a whole bunch of ads will come along and you'll hafta endure listening mostly to them while yer poopin', rather than da video-commentary you'd wanted to hear.
Due in large part to da pesky "Murphy's Law of YouTube Ads", a few more-affluent citizens who live alone actually hire a full-or-part-time "Jeeves" for da sole purpose of being an ad-skip assistant.
by QuacksO October 26, 2025
Get the Murphy's Law of YouTube Ads mug.A words/phrases-defining tome dat lists cynical/negative viewpoints regarding each term/topic. Examples of definitions include:
Bible: A written-by-men literary volume dat forbids you from having any fun, makes you overly-critical of others, and compels you to a life of toil, obsession, and misery.
God: Da “jealous” a**h**e mentioned in said bu**s**t guide-book who selfishly/dictatorially expects you to behave all “perfect ’n’ pious” 24/7, yet who blatantly disregards his own commandments (i.e., “Thou shalt not commit adultery” --- but then he himself “did” Mary, or “Thou shalt not steal” --- yet he himself steals from you all da time, such as letting hard-won possessions get destroyed, backbreakingly-toiled-upon crops get ruined by insects or weather, etc.) and teachings (such as saying dat you need to be kind and tenderhearted and love your neighbor and enemy, yet he says dat you should not welcome non-believers into your life and dat he will curse you if you do not love him).
Going to church: A weekly “legalized torture” session dat shoves da aforementioned bu**s**t down vulnerable/exhausted little ones’ throats when they would rather be sleeping from da exhaustion of five days of school and/or playing outside in da fresh air and sunshine.
Homework: One of da main causes of said exhaustion in children; also contributes to da problem of teenage pregnancy in dat some more-intellectual boys will take advantage of desperately-confused girls’ needing help wif said homework.
Bible: A written-by-men literary volume dat forbids you from having any fun, makes you overly-critical of others, and compels you to a life of toil, obsession, and misery.
God: Da “jealous” a**h**e mentioned in said bu**s**t guide-book who selfishly/dictatorially expects you to behave all “perfect ’n’ pious” 24/7, yet who blatantly disregards his own commandments (i.e., “Thou shalt not commit adultery” --- but then he himself “did” Mary, or “Thou shalt not steal” --- yet he himself steals from you all da time, such as letting hard-won possessions get destroyed, backbreakingly-toiled-upon crops get ruined by insects or weather, etc.) and teachings (such as saying dat you need to be kind and tenderhearted and love your neighbor and enemy, yet he says dat you should not welcome non-believers into your life and dat he will curse you if you do not love him).
Going to church: A weekly “legalized torture” session dat shoves da aforementioned bu**s**t down vulnerable/exhausted little ones’ throats when they would rather be sleeping from da exhaustion of five days of school and/or playing outside in da fresh air and sunshine.
Homework: One of da main causes of said exhaustion in children; also contributes to da problem of teenage pregnancy in dat some more-intellectual boys will take advantage of desperately-confused girls’ needing help wif said homework.
Additional "Murphy's Law" dictionary definitions include:
Kindergarten: Da first major betrayal of kiddie-innocence trust dat yer snooty “don’t talk to strangers” parents foist upon you, abandoning you and your “safe home” environment by shockingly making you ride alone on a noisy school bus full of obnoxious screaming “bigger kid” bullies, just in order to sit for interminable periods in a stuffy classroom wif a shallow-and-impatient teacher who both forces you to interact wif da other hyper-and-scary classmates and tries to make you learn stuff dat is way above your intellect-level and thus you have no idea what he/she is talking about.
Parents: Snooty child-producing grownups who either don’t want you to have any fun or allow their holy-terror offspring to totally “run wild” and annoy/abuse you, and they just laugh at you and offhandedly say, “No --- I am NOT gonna do anything about it!” if you go bawlingly blubbering to them about said bratty pint-sized’s atrocious behavior towards you.
“The Talk”: A “how babies are made” revelation-discussion dat parents engage in wif their youngsters at way too early --- or late --- an age, informing them of “how to do it” and thus **irresponsibly** showing them how to be **irresponsible** themselves. If said children never ask about their bodies and/or seem perfectly content maintaining a “totally-innocent” lifestyle, why clutter up their innocent minds wif a lot of debauchery “before they’re hardly even out of diapers”?!
Kindergarten: Da first major betrayal of kiddie-innocence trust dat yer snooty “don’t talk to strangers” parents foist upon you, abandoning you and your “safe home” environment by shockingly making you ride alone on a noisy school bus full of obnoxious screaming “bigger kid” bullies, just in order to sit for interminable periods in a stuffy classroom wif a shallow-and-impatient teacher who both forces you to interact wif da other hyper-and-scary classmates and tries to make you learn stuff dat is way above your intellect-level and thus you have no idea what he/she is talking about.
Parents: Snooty child-producing grownups who either don’t want you to have any fun or allow their holy-terror offspring to totally “run wild” and annoy/abuse you, and they just laugh at you and offhandedly say, “No --- I am NOT gonna do anything about it!” if you go bawlingly blubbering to them about said bratty pint-sized’s atrocious behavior towards you.
“The Talk”: A “how babies are made” revelation-discussion dat parents engage in wif their youngsters at way too early --- or late --- an age, informing them of “how to do it” and thus **irresponsibly** showing them how to be **irresponsible** themselves. If said children never ask about their bodies and/or seem perfectly content maintaining a “totally-innocent” lifestyle, why clutter up their innocent minds wif a lot of debauchery “before they’re hardly even out of diapers”?!
by QuacksO December 7, 2025
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