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spank my butt and call me Nancy

to punctuate desperation in order to change a circumstance
Attending a tedious cocktail party from which Billy D finds himself pinned in a conversation from which there is no relief. Standing there, minute after minute, taking it all in and wanting nothing more that to be home in bed; he feels his stomach turn and tighten, cold and sweat outline him, he wants out; his Gucci suit minimizes. His scalp itches and hots up suffocating under the conversation and the people. Suddenly, a well-groomed accountant next to him barks out, "Current data from my data extrapolated to further the outcomes on the Harrington Report confirms a speculation that the market trend should ..." At that point, Billy D. has his Dickens’ moment; his steamed brain snaps. A growling hum exits his thorax inexplicably. The accountant eyes him -- a dik dik to an approaching lion. Billy D. holds the accountant’s eyes way too long in primeval contact. He raises his eyebrows up and down as the masturbator in Dostoyevsky’s famous novel . He wanted the floor; he wanted to express something real; now he had the floor and total control; they were fixated. Then he let go the phrase that would end his tenure at the conversation hell-school of life and liberate him from their hold now and forever. He gave it up, loud and proud in rainbow fashion, "Well, spank my butt and call me Nancy." And that was it. It was all over. Their grip on him came crashing down. What he was in others' eyes now permitted him to leave the group without question or guilt forever it would be different.
by Royal Wulff October 11, 2013
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well, shitter me green and call me nancy!

In any situation, this term is to be used as a general expression of confusion, happiness, anger, fury, etc.
Simone: I fucked your mom.
Riley: Well, shitter me green and call me nancy!
by Nancy G. May 15, 2010
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Fuck Me Sideways and Call Me Sally

When a person is left pissed off and frustrated at human stupidity and their lack of intelligence
When he asked a girl out she would never respond, so he yelled " Fuck Me Sideways and Call Me Sally " in the local library. He was left frustrated at her stupidity.
by Mill3rth3Kill3r15 April 29, 2015
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Fuck me sideways and call me Tuesday : an exclamatory phrase indicating great surprise and digsut, simultaneously.
Fuck me sideways and call me Tuesday! That asshole has left me 35 messages since like 2 pm today!
by Pinkie_Flamingo October 13, 2016
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astonishment, suprised amazement, wow! You don't say! Well, I'll be.
Joe: After five years of being on welfare, I finally landed a job.
Marcy: Well, butter my butt and call me a bisquit!
by Dogs! May 17, 2010
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Tickle my anus and call me Samantha

Used when someone is surprised or angry
1.) Gas prices went down 50 cents? Well, tickle my anus and call me Samantha!

2.) THAT BITCH SHARKEESHA TRIED TO STEAL MY MAN?! TICKLE MY ANUS AND CALL ME SAMANTHA, CUZ IMMA KILL A BITCH!
by Magic Mushrooms June 24, 2016
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Well, shit in my mouth and call me your sister

An sarcastic exclamation that can be used in a variety of ways. Usually used to to emphasize how glaringly obvious something that has been said is.
A: I had to go to school yesterday.
B: Well, shit in my mouth and call me your sister - student's going to school? Really?
by DarkLite January 19, 2007
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