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Advanced Placement Program

A program backed by the College Board that offers college-level advanced placement (AP) courses. They are designed to give intellectually gifted, hard-working high school students with good grades a prospective experience in introductory college-level material. Each of the 34 AP classes prepare students to take the AP exams given every year in late April or May. If you score a 3 or higher on any exam, then whatever college you go to will give you college credit for the equivalent of that class. Of course, there is a lot of work done in these classes, and they move at a very quick pace. Don't take an AP course unless you feel that you truly, genuinely prepared for a serious academic challenge.

When I was in high school, I was one of those crazy motherfuckers that wanted to take every AP course possible. Here's a list of every AP class that I took and what I did in them:

AP World History: learned about world history minus Africa after the end of the Kemetic (Egyptian) empire, Asia after the end of the Babylonian empire, South America, and any other place on earth not relevant to European history. Coped with an ignorant teacher who didn't know the difference between Pakistan and India. One day after school, a few of my friends and I snuck into her room and played Super Smash Bros. on her tv. We recorded the game on one of her PBS tapes. When she showed it class the next day, everyone saw a wonderful match between Captain Falcon and Link, and she never found out who did it. It was great!
AP American History: Worse than World History. Different teacher; just as ignorant. Learned to fear the letters D, B, and Q. Everyone spent their time doing their calculus homework, which brings me to the next class.
AP Calculus: Hard at first; too easy later. Somewhat fun. The teacher felt superior to everybody due to her vast mathematical knowledge. Quickly forgot everything after the end of the year.
AP Physics: The devil class itself. The worst out of all the AP classes. Had a stupid pig of a teacher who definitely wasn't qualified to teach the work. He had to ask everyone in the class to help him answer the problems that he gave. Every morning in the lunchroom, we would all copy each other's homework and lab reports. During the class, we did everything from listening to music, playing GBA, conversating, sleeping, and playing the dozens with the stupid instructor. Never actually did any physics. That's why every time we had a test, the average grade was a 42 and the teacher had to give a ridiculous curve of 30 points just so that one person could pass.
AP English: Learned how to make spark notes our best friend. Did a lot of reading and writing. Really boring. Had a goofy teacher who was excited to read Hamlet and The Fixer. Gave us a "quote of the day" every single day. Why, I'll never know.
AP Government: I can't remember a single thing from that class. I fell asleep in it every day.
AP Statistics: Stupid excuse for a math class. Half of the stuff you already learned in middle school, just with bigger words and impractical formulas. Take mathematical statistics when you get into college. That's the real statistics.

Many students share similar experiences. The advanced placement program is not for the weak. Enroll in an AP class, and be prepared for a great workload, severe boredom (or as my AP English teacher would say, ennui), and, if nothing else, all hell. Those who take AP Bio, AP Chem, and any other AP course, I know your pain. However, having several AP classes does look good on your transcript, and raking in those 4's and 5's do attract those wonderful ivy league universities.
I heard that exams for AP Chinese, AP Italian, and AP Japanese are being added in the next few years. Why can't there be a cool AP course like AP Culinary Arts, AP Swahili, or AP Stage and Film Combat. C'mon.
by some punk kid June 24, 2005
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