non-mean prank. these activities always:
1) leave the Recipient feeling loved, encouraged, &comforted.
2)anonymous surprises for the recipient. Give all the credit to Jesus Christ. This makes it even more fun, since you're secretly planning & carrying out a surprise for a person. Exceptions: a group completely pays off a person's debt etc
4) It is made to fit the recipient's specific needs. (example: Cindy was $20,498 in debt still from college loans. Cindy was "church-pranked" & received a check for exactly $20,498.
5)Choosing a recipient who has been discouraged, in a tough spot, had a close relative pass away recently, or in financial straights makes the "church-prank" all the better.
6)DON'T leave the recipients feeling worthless, scared, with any property damage, in a trash can, stuffed into a locker, with a swirly, or injured
7) if this act was done to ur pastor's daughter, would he be filled with righteous anger? no.
7) would you want this done to you? example, if u wouldn't want to find piles of poop on ur desk, it's not a church-prank to put poop on a persons desk. If u like to finding $20bills on ur desk, would someone else be encouraged if they found $20bills hidden on theirs?
8) church-pranks don't leave messes around & aren't illegal.
9)Does it bring someone closer to Jesus Christ? Does it leave the recipient thanking God? Does this act fit in with the loving, deeply caring, encouraging, comforting, good, creative character of God?
1) leave the Recipient feeling loved, encouraged, &comforted.
2)anonymous surprises for the recipient. Give all the credit to Jesus Christ. This makes it even more fun, since you're secretly planning & carrying out a surprise for a person. Exceptions: a group completely pays off a person's debt etc
4) It is made to fit the recipient's specific needs. (example: Cindy was $20,498 in debt still from college loans. Cindy was "church-pranked" & received a check for exactly $20,498.
5)Choosing a recipient who has been discouraged, in a tough spot, had a close relative pass away recently, or in financial straights makes the "church-prank" all the better.
6)DON'T leave the recipients feeling worthless, scared, with any property damage, in a trash can, stuffed into a locker, with a swirly, or injured
7) if this act was done to ur pastor's daughter, would he be filled with righteous anger? no.
7) would you want this done to you? example, if u wouldn't want to find piles of poop on ur desk, it's not a church-prank to put poop on a persons desk. If u like to finding $20bills on ur desk, would someone else be encouraged if they found $20bills hidden on theirs?
8) church-pranks don't leave messes around & aren't illegal.
9)Does it bring someone closer to Jesus Christ? Does it leave the recipient thanking God? Does this act fit in with the loving, deeply caring, encouraging, comforting, good, creative character of God?
Frank couldn't afford to take his wife out to dinner. He got church-pranked when he opened an anonymous gift certificate for a dinner for 2.
Simon's old car broke down. He couldn't afford a car. Simon got church-pranked when his friends got together & bought Simon the new car of his dreams.
Sam went on a mission trip. He got church-pranked when he got home, only to find his lawn already mowed by an anonymous source.
Freddy the Freshmen went on his first mission trip. He was sad when he didn't see anyone get saved on the 1st day. Freddy cried himself to sleep. Freddy got church-pranked when he found a chocolate bar on top of his bag & encouraging Bible verses.
George, the receiver for the college football team, got into a car accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down. He had fallen asleep at the wheel. The pastor's son - who had been driving the other car- died. George's dream of playing in the NFL ended. Stuck in the hospital instead of on the football field & partying, George was sad. George would lose his football scholarship. He couldn't afford the hospital bills. But George got church-pranked when the pastor (whose son died in the car accident) was holding a check that not only covered his hospital bills but the next year's tuition &fees for college. He told George he was forgiven. Astounded, George accepted Jesus Christ. George graduated from college & became a doctor.
Simon's old car broke down. He couldn't afford a car. Simon got church-pranked when his friends got together & bought Simon the new car of his dreams.
Sam went on a mission trip. He got church-pranked when he got home, only to find his lawn already mowed by an anonymous source.
Freddy the Freshmen went on his first mission trip. He was sad when he didn't see anyone get saved on the 1st day. Freddy cried himself to sleep. Freddy got church-pranked when he found a chocolate bar on top of his bag & encouraging Bible verses.
George, the receiver for the college football team, got into a car accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down. He had fallen asleep at the wheel. The pastor's son - who had been driving the other car- died. George's dream of playing in the NFL ended. Stuck in the hospital instead of on the football field & partying, George was sad. George would lose his football scholarship. He couldn't afford the hospital bills. But George got church-pranked when the pastor (whose son died in the car accident) was holding a check that not only covered his hospital bills but the next year's tuition &fees for college. He told George he was forgiven. Astounded, George accepted Jesus Christ. George graduated from college & became a doctor.
by WhatWouldHolyGhostDo? November 7, 2014
Get the church-prank mug.C Money was tube-churching K-Raw last night when Dude Baby was beating up his girlfriend, God Warrior Baby.
by god warrior baby November 3, 2010
Get the Tube-Church mug.All you have to do is whatever I say forever regardless of whether or not the direct or peripheral effect of doing that is bad and regardless of the outcome...
A muffin "The church can save this country!"
Hym "Then why is it not doing that?"
A muffin "Uh... Well, you're not doing what I say forever."
Hym "Right, but if you believe that then you should just be doing that anyway, right? Like, you could save the country... But you're not doing it so..."
A muffin "Withholding aid and resources as punishment for non-compliance is part of the religion I'm doing to you."
Hym "Yeah, ok, so it can't save the country... It's harming the country by withholding aid (arbitrarily) and you're offering to STOP DOING THE THING YOU'RE DOING... In exchange for forever-compliance?"
A muffin "Correct."
Hym "So, you're not saving the country. You're destroying the country until everyome does what you want?"
A muffin "Correct... BUT! I COULD be saving it instead... But I'm not going to unless you fuck your sister."
Hym "Then why is it not doing that?"
A muffin "Uh... Well, you're not doing what I say forever."
Hym "Right, but if you believe that then you should just be doing that anyway, right? Like, you could save the country... But you're not doing it so..."
A muffin "Withholding aid and resources as punishment for non-compliance is part of the religion I'm doing to you."
Hym "Yeah, ok, so it can't save the country... It's harming the country by withholding aid (arbitrarily) and you're offering to STOP DOING THE THING YOU'RE DOING... In exchange for forever-compliance?"
A muffin "Correct."
Hym "So, you're not saving the country. You're destroying the country until everyome does what you want?"
A muffin "Correct... BUT! I COULD be saving it instead... But I'm not going to unless you fuck your sister."
by Hym Iam March 29, 2024
Get the The church can save this country mug.For when your D&D party doesn't want to deal with the DM's bullshit, and just burns down the building/church/tower that contains the encounter that they had worked for weeks on.
"You see several Mind Flayers through the open doors of the church. Will you go inside to confront them and save the town?"
"We're going to burn it down."
"What?"
"We're going to Commit Tentacle Church on it."
"We're going to burn it down."
"What?"
"We're going to Commit Tentacle Church on it."
by Marven Songsteel December 2, 2019
Get the Commit Tentacle Church mug.by the fidddddddddddddddddddddddd May 22, 2019
Get the Church Whore mug.A church leaver is a Christian who has decided he no longer wants to be a part of a local congregation. So he simply stops attending church, and no longer fellowships with Christians, and no longer submits himself to the authority of any church leadership structure. He has not necessarily ceased his belief in God and Jesus and the Bible, but rather he has chosen to no longer participate in church attendance, and all the trappings that come with church attendance.
Most church leavers who wish to remain devout in their faith rely heavily upon the internet for sermons and for indepth Bible research. They find comfort in being able to watch a pre-recorded YouTube sermon at their leisure, or else to be an anonymous "lurker" during a live webcast of a live Sunday morning sermon being sent out from some church elsewhere in the world.
They will sometimes interact on social media groups with other Christians where they might discuss theological matters and even ask for prayer. But the priority of a church leaver to remaining uncommitted to any one church body or group of believers is never compromised.
Most church leavers who wish to remain devout in their faith rely heavily upon the internet for sermons and for indepth Bible research. They find comfort in being able to watch a pre-recorded YouTube sermon at their leisure, or else to be an anonymous "lurker" during a live webcast of a live Sunday morning sermon being sent out from some church elsewhere in the world.
They will sometimes interact on social media groups with other Christians where they might discuss theological matters and even ask for prayer. But the priority of a church leaver to remaining uncommitted to any one church body or group of believers is never compromised.
I became a church leaver when I realized that church attendance was more burdensome than simply worshiping God on my own.
by Innocent Byproduct May 22, 2021
Get the church leaver mug.by Big dugg January 10, 2016
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