jesus toast

A piece of toast with jesus on it. Comes from a piece of toast that went on ebay for a ton of money because the face of jesus was burned on it.

Jesus: Have you seen my new line of jesus toast?
Mary: Shut up, you're not as hot as you think you are.

by jesustoasted March 18, 2008

got Jesus

When someone becomes a convert to a position that they previously rejected via their actions. Especially a change in position due to some financial or political gain.

The Republicans got Jesus on the deficit only when they lost the last election. Up until then they were drunken sailors in a whore house saloon.

by xi_32 February 16, 2009

Jesus Terminator

The most definite and manly form of power in the universe. Jesus Terminator is stronger than Chuck Norris combined with Cthulhu, but has a heart of pure gold. Alternatively, the phrase is used to describe macho manliness of an excessive magnitude.

Hey, dude, have you been working out? You look so Jesus Terminator today!

by Ditno June 6, 2011

Jesus pox

genital warts

My religious parents wouldn't let me get the HPV vaccine because they thought it would encourage premarital sex. Now I have a case of Jesus pox.

by dinger finger October 19, 2010

jesus beating

A severe beating, as in the category of the beating that Jesus received in "Passion of the Christ."

Holy shit, did those cops give Rodney King a Jesus beating, or what!?

by John Testes November 22, 2007

Purple Jesus

Minnesota Vikings running back and future NFL Hall of Famer Adrian Peterson.

Man, did you see Purple Jesus shred that Bears D yesterday?

by PurpleJesus September 22, 2007

Jesus Boots

Sandals.(Use caution with Jesus in profane senses.)

Jesus boots are made for the summer more than spring or fall.

by Light Joker August 17, 2006