The Van Schwack Theory, is the theory that it's very common in conversation that it is much harder and takes far longer to explain why something said is ignorant, then it does to simply say the ignorant thing.
Person 1: My friend is ignorant!
Person 2: What do you mean?
Person 1: Well they said something incredibly stupid sounding last night and it took me almost an hour to fully explain it. Like exponentially longer.
Person 2: Van Schwack.
Person 1: No, it was Kevin! Again!
Person 2: No, I mean the van schwack THEORY. You can say three words that take paragraphs to why it's ignorant. But you're right Kevin says some pretty dumb stuff. What did he say this time?
Person 1: It would take too long to explain...
Person 2: That's The Van Schwack Theory for you.
Person 2: What do you mean?
Person 1: Well they said something incredibly stupid sounding last night and it took me almost an hour to fully explain it. Like exponentially longer.
Person 2: Van Schwack.
Person 1: No, it was Kevin! Again!
Person 2: No, I mean the van schwack THEORY. You can say three words that take paragraphs to why it's ignorant. But you're right Kevin says some pretty dumb stuff. What did he say this time?
Person 1: It would take too long to explain...
Person 2: That's The Van Schwack Theory for you.
by Lark Bear May 23, 2022
Get the Van Schwack Theory mug.Guy 1: So sad what happened on 911
Guy 2: I believe 911 was a Conspiracy Theory made by the gouvernment. It's obvious there is something more to this.
Guy 1: Like what? Aliens?
Guy 2: I think you are onto something.
Guy 1: So it's the 911 Conspiracy Theory?
Guy 2: I believe 911 was a Conspiracy Theory made by the gouvernment. It's obvious there is something more to this.
Guy 1: Like what? Aliens?
Guy 2: I think you are onto something.
Guy 1: So it's the 911 Conspiracy Theory?
by dtfe September 12, 2017
Get the 911 Conspiracy Theory mug.Similiar to the Hoop Earring Theory. The size of the dog correlates the level of a woman's promiscuity. The smaller the breed, the higher level of promiscuity.
"Hey man, I met this girl at the dog park. She's got a chihuahua, and she seems into me."
"She is into everyone man, its the Small Dog theory."
"She is into everyone man, its the Small Dog theory."
by PhinTheHumanZ February 3, 2018
Get the small dog theory mug.The fridge fuzz theory suggests that the constant sound or 'Fuzz' that your fridge produces, subconsciously balances your psyche. If this 'Fuzz' were to suddenly disappear, it would cause all sorts of pandemonium; in your body, mind, soul and spirit. The fabric of reality will collapse around you and life as you know it will not be the same until the 'Fuzz' returns.
This element of everyday life does not need to be there, but the fact that it exists is an example of the fridge fuzz theory.
by classyquail October 7, 2023
Get the Fridge Fuzz Theory mug.When you’re having a good time and being lit, time goes by hella fast, but when you’re bored af, time feels like it’s dragging on forever
Omar: yo, it’s been 50 minutes since we’ve been on the phone
Jailine: no fucking way! I swear it’s only been like 20
Omar: It must be Omar’s theory of relativity
Jailine: why are you talking about yourself in third person?
Jailine: no fucking way! I swear it’s only been like 20
Omar: It must be Omar’s theory of relativity
Jailine: why are you talking about yourself in third person?
by Brun_Omars May 13, 2019
Get the Omar’s theory of relativity mug.The theory or belief that one only needs to apply soap to the head or hair during a shower, as it will "trickle down", affecting the whole body during cleansing.
by averagebrine November 11, 2022
Get the Trickle-down Theory mug.The theory first posited by Hym Iam (Yours truly) that states "If the Pareto principle applies to 'the ability to accrue influence'; then there will inevitably come a time where someone is able to accrue a supreme or vastly disproportionate amount of influence and use said influence for evil". Loosely derivative of pseudo-religious "Anti-Christ" literature and a reference to the Marvel villain "Zebediah Killgrave" AKA "Purple Man".
Influence part 2/ Purple-Man Theory
Iam "That's not true! Look at what Daryl Davis was able to do with those KKK members. He was able to get through the cognitive dissonance and get them to operate outside of the framework of conceptualization they had initially adopted."
Hym "That's just trading one framework for another. The act of adopting the framework allows them to forgo the 'reasoning' that is required (by definition) to constitute the expression of 'ego'."
Iam "But I doubt Daryl Davis has the philosophical suppositions required to constitute a 'Framework of conceptualization'. Anyone who is acting out the script of a 'framework of conceptualization' can (in fact) be reset to 'ego expression'."
Hym "Let's assume that you're correct. That's one anecdotal example of the KKK framework being reset to 'ego expression'. We don't know that it works that way across a variety of frameworks. We don't know whether or not they are falling under his 'indirect' influence so that's little more than speculation."
Iam "Then I guess we'll have to learn more about what he did to convince these KKK members to abandon their initial framework. He either posited a new framework (which they replaced the old one) or he broke through the cognitive dissonance and reset them all to 'ego expression'. But that's as far as we can get for now."
Iam "That's not true! Look at what Daryl Davis was able to do with those KKK members. He was able to get through the cognitive dissonance and get them to operate outside of the framework of conceptualization they had initially adopted."
Hym "That's just trading one framework for another. The act of adopting the framework allows them to forgo the 'reasoning' that is required (by definition) to constitute the expression of 'ego'."
Iam "But I doubt Daryl Davis has the philosophical suppositions required to constitute a 'Framework of conceptualization'. Anyone who is acting out the script of a 'framework of conceptualization' can (in fact) be reset to 'ego expression'."
Hym "Let's assume that you're correct. That's one anecdotal example of the KKK framework being reset to 'ego expression'. We don't know that it works that way across a variety of frameworks. We don't know whether or not they are falling under his 'indirect' influence so that's little more than speculation."
Iam "Then I guess we'll have to learn more about what he did to convince these KKK members to abandon their initial framework. He either posited a new framework (which they replaced the old one) or he broke through the cognitive dissonance and reset them all to 'ego expression'. But that's as far as we can get for now."
by Hym Iam May 6, 2022
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