Asshole Optimism

When someone tries to put an optimistic spin on an unfotmunate situation, but has a sarcastic intent, and ends up subtly coming off as an asshole.

"It's cool that you have no car like everyone else," said Lucas, "now you can have fun riding your bike everywhere." In a show of asshole optimism.

by doktorj March 8, 2014

Asshole Questions

1. A question that you ask to piss somone off

2. A question that only an asshole would ask

Aaron: "Jason, where's that email that pissed you off? Can I hit on your sister? What about your Mom? Does your wife still go down on you? Hey, what do you think Angelina is going to name her next foreign baby?"

Jason: "I can't take it anymore!! Stop asking me these asshole questions!!!"

by ClevelandDan November 18, 2009

The acrobatic asshole

The sexual act of jerking off while constantly bouncing on a trampoline.
This term can also refer to someone who watches clown porn.

Jim loves to be the acrobatic asshole sometimes.

by thisniggaeatingbeans June 26, 2018

Asshole Chicken

Any chicken that gets prepared and served in the following way: 1. The server grabs it with her bare hands after touching her ass 2. The chicken squirts when you pick it up 3. The chicken looks like an old lady’s clitoris and smells like an Ass-Plosion 4. It comes in two variants: the cream-covered artichoke cunt, and the piss-yellow clitoris

Asian Dad: Holy fuck, this asshole chicken tastes like dog meat! I need another plate!
Everyone else: Fucking Christ, this chicken looks and smells like an old sweaty vag! Who the fuck made this?

by #fuckgoblindrill February 26, 2022

Shaq's Asshole

Dying urge to take a shit.

Having an asshole proportionate to Shaq's body.

Ah man! This diarrhea is giving me Shaq's asshole.

by Chorbashi October 31, 2020

Asshole switch

A part of someone’s brain that is triggered in mysterious ways, causing them to (re)act like an asshole to an innocent comment

All I did was ask him to copy me on that email, and he freaked the hell out. Must have flipped his asshole switch. Damn.

by Fortyphobic November 17, 2018

molten asshole

Where you take the massive, most painful shit, that is at least the temperature of the sun.

Even after you finish shitting it still feels like your ass turned into a volcano.

*Jake*: Dude did you ever get molten asshole?
*Andy*: Yeah dude that shit burns

*Jake*: I try to get toilet bowl water in there to cool it down
*Andy*: lolwut

by AndyJSwag March 20, 2014