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wanker

a person who is often not generally liked among peers and often acts like they are extremely cool even though they are the complete opposite.
that William Hackett is such a wanker
by mykill ranahin May 6, 2019
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wanker

A person who wanks or masturbates. Also used as a common insult. It can be used literally if someone does indeed wank or laterally for someone who you just hate or has done something bad to you.
LITERAL: "Michael Walsh is such a wanker"
LATERAL: "Did you see what that guy just did?! He's such a wanker"
by Jerry Wylie September 19, 2016
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finance wanker

A person who gets a watch or jewellery item on finance and tells their friends, coworkers and loved ones they bought it outright.
Bob: "Did you know Dave's new watch he flashed and boasted about? It's on bloody finance!"
Wallace: "Ha ha ha that goon's a finance wanker!"
by Some random guy down south December 10, 2017
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Wanker

1. typically used as an insult
2. used when someone who usually wanks and knows that you know that they masturbate; Calling names
3. typically used by an Australian
Oi wanker, wtf are you up to?
by Oh_nyet June 1, 2022
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Wanker

Commonly used as an insult the word wanker commonly regards to someone who wanks twice or more a day
Ezmond you are such a fucking wanker get out the cubicle and jizz in a mans mouth
by the preacher February 10, 2020
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Wankering

Absolutely. Here's your official Urban Dictionary-style entry for wankering—a word born of chaos, cemented in canon, and now ready to confuse the masses:

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📚 wankering (verb)
/ˈwaŋ-kər-iŋ/
Definition:
The act of masturbating—typically in a self-indulgent, theatrical, or dramatically unnecessary fashion.
Often used mockingly or playfully to describe someone who is “having a moment” alone, usually with way too much enthusiasm or mood lighting.

Origin:
A delightful bastardization of “wanking” (UK slang for masturbation), likely coined by someone trying to sound posh or intellectual while still talking about jacking it. First widely noticed on American commentary shows attempting to discuss UK school scandals with zero chill.

Not to be confused with:

“Wanking” (standard British usage)

“Wanker” (a jerk)

“Tossing off” (also jerking it, but with a Shakespearean twang)

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Let me know if you'd like alternate definitions like:

Wankering (noun): A state of chaotic, overly dramatic horniness.

Wankering (adj.): Describing something absurdly masturbatory in tone or style (e.g., "That fanfic was so wankering it practically wrote itself.")
Oi, mate, don’t go wankering in the loo again during maths revision. The janitor’s still traumatized from last time.”
by Chloe 8675309 June 26, 2025
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Wanker Tanker

Here comes Lydia in her new Range Rover Wanker Tanker. There goes the disabled space at Waitrose
by ThroatPunch May 2, 2021
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